Reborn From the Ashes
by ShadowGrafAngel
Summary: Edward left Bella AGAIN. This time he's left her for another vampire. He's been gone for 5 years, 3 months, and 12 days, but who's keeping track. She's gotten herself out of depression and back into normal life when some of her past comes back. REWRITEING
1. Jogging and Stalkers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters

UPDATED CHAPTER

_This wasn't real, I thought as the ghost of a hand cupped my face and a phantom kiss swept across my brow. This can't be real, he's gone, and he's been gone for over five years. I had loved him, but I hadn't been _in love_ with him, it had been more of an infatuation; puppy love. He wasn't here, standing before me. This was just a manifestation from my memories. The tears trickled down my face as I looked at the ghost, the memory of the day he left. It was a stab to my already mangled heart to see the day that I broke, the moment that I, Bella Swan, died. It had been painful enough the first time, now it was just a constant nag in the back of my mind, usually I could just block it out, but that didn't mean that my vulnerable mind wasn't susceptible to the pain that arose from those memories. I tried to wake as his voice, clear as the time he had said it the first time, spoke the words that destroyed the fragile thing in me called hope, "I don't love you anymore"… "You're not good enough for me", but that had just been the first time... I listened as the dream continued; a frozen statue in the face of my demons. Now the joy of my nightmares: the climax to my hearts pains. Where in reality he had kissed me and left, his dream self had thought that it had to do more; it had to warp both times, it had to double my pain. _

_Where this dream took place was about a year or so since the time he left me and returned only because I had tracked him down in Italy. When he had left me that time, he had claimed it was because of his need for me to be safe, but when he told me that it only managed to piss me off. Even after we had somewhat resolved the tension caused by the whole thing, he still brought up his excuse and every time he did I told him just how big his load of bullshit was. The months following his return were rocky at best, but we managed to make it through. As the months went by, though, I noticed something off with Edward. Edward would seem perfectly happy, but then he took a nosedive into depression a few days later when I said the simplest of things. His erratic mood swings continued to come in shorter and shorter periods and became lengthier. It took me awhile to figure out what was going on with him, and even after I did I didn't want to believe what was staring me in the face. Then again, I had been so naïve in the past that I wouldn't have known the truth if it came up and bit me in the ass._

_I watched with silent tears streaming down my face as a shape came forth from the trees; gradually growing clearer. A woman came forth from the gloomy shadows of the forest and wrapped her arms around my "mate". Her sweet little smile grew bigger as she turned her face towards me and said the words that broke my heart all over again, "So you must be the little girl Edward mentioned," She turned back to him, "Have you told her yet, I want to get back to the church before they cancel on us; we still have that reservation in Germany at __**Edelweiss **_**(A/N: pronounced A-dell [like the computer company]-vise)**_ and we really wouldn't want to be late to our own wedding now would we?"The straw that broke the camel's back; I could almost hear the crack in my heart spread as the words registered in my brain._

"_Congratulations," I whispered through a dry mouth and a constricted throat._

"_Bella," he started._

"_Edward," burn, "why didn't you just tell me right off the bat that you wanted someone else; I would've understood," why wouldn't the freakin' burning stop already!_

Jolted by the pain from my dream, I woke gasping for breath as the tears rolled down my face. The echo of my sobs hung in the air as I tried to slow my heart. 'The only proof that I have that I still have one' I thought to myself as it thundered in my chest. I swiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath to clear my mind. Charlie's snores were loud, but, thankfully, still uninterrupted. I knew that when I had these reoccurring nightmares that they would wake him. It was one thing for me to be a zombie, a whole other thing for him to be one too; he couldn't afford to be tired what with him being the police chief. Sure we didn't have a bunch of crime, but still, I wouldn't want it on my conscious that my lack of good sleep was what killed my father.

I sighed and looked at the clock, 5:30 AM. I pulled a box out from under my bed and grabbed my black jogging shorts, sports bra, slim fitting black and white Beetles concert tee, and tennis shoes. '_To think I use to be so klutzy that I couldn't_ walk _over a flat surface without finding something to trip over_,' I laughed to myself. Stripped down and changed into my jogging gear, I grabbed my keys and left a note on the table for Charlie just in case he woke up before I got back from my jog. Highly unlikely considering it was Saturday and he liked to sleep in on his days off, but still. I didn't want him sending out a search party for me.

As I walked out the door the crisp December air of Washington washed over me and I set off at a steady jog. I usually ran for about thirty minutes to an hour, but today I felt like I could go longer. I jogged past Fork's High school and I saw a few of the teacher's cars parked in the back. I passed Newton's a few minutes later and I saw Mrs. Newton enter the shop and change the 'Closed' sign to 'Open'. Each place I passed I saw that the daily life of Forks was the same every day. I could have been blindfolded and told you the same things I just did. Life was unaffected by _them _leaving. When people saw me, with my paler-than-before complexion and thinner body, they looked at me with pity; a loathsome expression. I hated it. I wished that they would all just stop doing looking at me like that. It just _added_ to my misery. Did they seriously think that giving me those pity filled looks would make me feel better that my "soul-mate" had abandoned me? That he had never loved me? If they did then that was just rich. Thankfully I got over _them_ leaving; now it was just annoying to have people throw pitying looks my way.

The sun was well above the trees when I was coming up on my second hour of jogging and I needed to head home. I was covered in sweat and grime from the long and hard jog that I did. As it was, I had done triple my normal pace today and I was tired. I stopped by the gas station and picked up another bottle of water, my throat was burning. '_I must be_ thirsty,' I chuckled inwardly at the lame joke. I was walking out of the gas station when I felt…weird. You know that feeling you get when you know someone's watching you? What I was feeling was a lot like that, but I also had to be concerned about whether or not my stalker was human. I felt like someone had just walked over my grave, and that is by no means pleasant. I felt an icy chill come over me as I continued to wander back to Charlie's and that uncomfortable prick on the back of my neck that told me something was seriously wrong. My skin was prickling with unease and I had the feeling that I was being watched. I looked around me as discreetly as possible, but I saw nothing and no one other than the newspaper-boy delivering the morning paper. Knowing my luck with everything I had a stalker. Also taking into account my terrible luck and freakish draw to those of the supernatural variety, my stalker was most likely either dangerous, not human, or all of the above. I took a longer route home but I still felt the eyes on me as I closed the screened portion of the front door behind me.


	2. Intruders from the Past

Thank you to those of you that left me some comments

I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters

As I closed the door behind me I heard a faint rustling, and peered out the corner of my eye to see if I could catch a glimpse of its source. I saw a slight movement from the trees, but that could have been an animal. I shook my head to clear it and finished closing the door. The clock on the microwave said it was 8:23AM, Charlie was still asleep. I pulled out a pan, two glasses, eggs, milk, and forks. As I waited for the toast to pop up, I started cooking the eggs. Rustle. I froze.

I slowly looked up at the window, the branches were still shaking. 'That couldn't be the wind could it. Sigh.' Stalker was becoming bolder. Freeze. I'll, mentally, turn this into a movie. The protagonist, Jane, hears the rustling from outside and she looks out the window. She feels a chill roll up her spine, but she ignores it, passing it off as the temperature. The noise starts up again, but accompanied by the sound of something dragging on the ground something…jeans?

I snapped out of movie mode and turned toward the sound of the jeans, or at least what I thought to be jeans. I went down a mental checklist of what it could or couldn't be. First off, was it human? No, it was too graceful in its movement judging by the sound of it. I would say animal, but it was wearing jeans. Animals don't wear jeans. Werewolf? I listened closer to see if I heard it sniffing the air. No, to quiet. Quiet. It dawned on me. Vampire. But which kind? Vegetarian or regular? Was I a friend to them or their next meal? 'Please, please, PLEASE be vegetarian!' I silently begged.

I heard the doorknob jiggle from where I stood. 'Sooo not sounding like a friend' I thought. My breathing was getting shallower I walked as quietly as I could to the back door. I knew it wouldn't help me to go out the back, if it WAS a vampire they could catch me easily. Rattle. My eyes darted back to the door and I froze mid-step. Any second now they would break through the door and my life would end, or I would go through three days of excruciating pain; wishing I was dead.

Crack. Dread. Oh God, there went the deadbolt. The door flew open, but I was running out the backdoor before I could see the intruder. My keys were burning hot in my pocket, a beckon of my salvation, however temporary it may be.

"Bella," a voice questioned. The voice sounded so familiar... Whoa. Wait. Huh! What was He doing here? Why did he just break into my house? 'Are his eyes still gold…or did he diverge from the veggie life,' I asked myself. Dare I stop running long enough to turn and get my answer? It was then that I noticed that I had stopped moving, I had frozen in place when I had recognized the voice. The voice of Him. The voice of Jasper.

Great, Good, Ok, Poor, or HORRIBLE?. Comments are appreciated. Thank you for reading.


	3. Cowboys and Freaky Visions

I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters

What the heck was Jasper doing here? Why is he showing up NOW? Where are the others? Questions buzzed through my mind at the speed of light as I looked, no, stared at him. He looked different then when I had seen him last. He didn't look so…stiff? It was more that he looked more natural. Last time I had seen him he had been wearing a freshly pressed shirt and slacks, most likely chosen by Alice, and hair tamed by a multitude of hair products. Now he looked…cowboy. He wore scuffed up, light brown cowboy boots and faded old jeans. The rest of what he wore was a white button-up shirt, rolled to his elbows and tucked in, and a Confederate flag belt buckle. All he needed was a cowboy hat and he would look exactly like a cowboy. Neither of us spoke, we were too busy taking each other in.

"Changed your look," I said. I stated the obvious, but hey, I haven't seen him in years and he just pops up out of nowhere.

"You too," he said looking at the jogging clothes, eyes pausing a little too long on my chest. I put my right hand in front of my bust and slowly moved it up, dragging his eyes up with it. I snapped in front of my face.

"My face is here, Cowboy," I notified him. He had the decency to look embarrassed. If he could have blushed I swear he would've. He quietly cleared his throat, not that he needed to just an ingrained reaction I guessed. "So what are you doing here, Jasper," I asked. Could you blame me, I was curious. He didn't answer, he just stood there. "Jasper," I questioned. I shook my hand in front of his face and he jolted back to reality.

"What? Sorry I spaced off for a second," he said.

"I said 'What are you doing here, Jasper'"

"Oh. Right. That might be something you'd want to know, considering I burst into your house and all." I nodded.

"Speaking of which, you need to repair the door. You did realize that you were going to have to do that when you busted the deadbolt, right?"

"Of course,"

"…so why ARE you here?"

"…Alice…" he hesitated. I felt the dread coming back. They all left when Edward left, both times, so why was anyone here. Why was Jasper acting like this? Why did I get that awful feeling of dread when he hesitated and THEN said Alice's name? Here comes a migraine. I pinched the bridge of my nose in an attempt to stop the pain, but I did not succeed in ridding myself of the pain. Jasper looked at me curiously, probably wondering at my odd behavior and erratic emotions. I shook my head to convey to him that it was nothing that he should be concerned about. I motioned for him to continue.

"She…SAW…something," he said. I waited for him to continue. A few moments passed and he still hadn't continued.

"She SAW what exactly," the dread was growing stronger and my heart was doing the nervous fluttery thing.

"" he speed-babbled.


	4. Bad News

Sorry I didn't get to post this sooner, it's been to hectic around here to even get on the computer, let alone post anything.

In answer to mama4dukes New Moon happened but not Breaking Dawn (so nothing from Breaking Dawn happened, Bella was never changed and Nessie was never born). After New Moon it was right when Breaking Dawn would have been that Edward left for the second time. (time he's actually gone is in the description)

I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters

"What are you saying? Not all of us understand Vampiric-speed-babble. Slow. Down," I sighed in exasperation. Why was he acting like this, they were usually so good about keeping it slow enough so I could understand. He took in an unnecessary breath and closed his eyes.

"She saw…you being changed into a vampire"

"Jasper…what aren't you telling me," I whispered. He had me thoroughly worried now. Vampires just didn't act like this. "Hasn't Alice already seen me as a vampire," I asked. Confusion must have been radiating off me by now.

"Yes," he looked uneasy.

"I can't become a vampire unless someone bites me, and you all left. Who exactly does she plan on biting me? Her vision MUST be wrong; her vision should have disappeared the day you all left" I sounded more and more as if I were in denial, even to myself. Why did Jasper have to come back now? Right when everything had started going the way I wanted it to. Why did he have to come here and mess everything up for me. If he hadn't of come I wouldn't have had to worry about a vision had that couldn't possibly happen. Why were Mythical creatures always ruining my life these days? There is clearly not a merciful god in heaven if I can't even walk two steps without getting my life disrupted by a vampire, werewolf, or shapeshifter. 'Mental slap,' getting off topic, stick to impossible visions.

He didn't answer; his eyes had that glazed over look that people get when they drift off into their imaginations.

"JASPER," I shouted at the top of my lungs. He jolted out of limbo. "What else happened."

He looked wary. "What do you mean 'what else'" he asked.

"I mean: Who supposedly changes me, what else is going on 'cause vampires just don't act like you are without a really good reason, and couldn't you just kill me to make sure that that doesn't happen" I asked,

"A nomad changes you and you are not getting killed, Bella!" I noticed he avoided answering the other question, but I didn't want to push it. Not yet anyways.

"A nomad changes me? Wouldn't they just suck me dry and leave me dead?"

"Usually"

"So why am I getting changed by one"

"We think that the nomad may be forming another army"

"You have to be kidding, please tell me that this is just some cruel sick joke" I pleaded

"Bella we wish that, that was all it was"

"So I'm going to be changed into a blood-thirsty monster and become part of a newborn army?"

"…Yes"

"Why are you acting so weird, Jasper"

"…There was more to the vision"

"What else could there be, it couldn't possibly be worse"

"…"

"What is it?"

"-" he said, yet again, in vampiric-speed-babble.

"What?"

He sighed. "The Volturi are notified and all that are a part of the army are tortured and destroyed"

"Oh"

"Yes 'oh'"


	5. Epiphany and a Choice

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyer is their owner, not ME. Thank you to all of you who are commenting, it's REALLY appreciated. I only own Valerie and the Gale 'sisters'

Previously:

"…_**There was more to the vision"**_

_** "What else could there be, it couldn't possibly be worse"**_

_** "…"**_

_** "What is it?"**_

_** "-" he said, yet again, in vampiric-speed-babble.**_

_** "What?"**_

_** He sighed. "The Volturi are notified and all that are a part of the army are tortured and destroyed"**_

_** "Oh"**_

_** "Yes 'oh'"**_

Currently:

JPOV

Why is it that every time I see Bella she has someone wanting her dead? All of my kind seemed to crave her blood. Why did it have to smell so delicious? If there was a god in 'Heaven' he clearly had a horrible streak. He made her so that everything either wanted her blood, her love, or her death. Males of the human race battled for her affections, but to no avail. Edward had stolen her heart. Then again he had also killed her, figuratively speaking, twice. He loved her, but he left her. He came back and got her hopes up, only to destroy her in the end. I knew she was doing better ten she had been when he had first left, but she was still a little too thin and a little too pale to be totally healthy. You could still see a slight dip where her face had thinned from not eating. I could easily count her ribs despite the added muscle. I couldn't even get a reading from her emotions; it was like she had none. 'Edward, what did you do to her?'

Had he said anything before he left this time? Last time he told her that he didn't want her, that she wasn't good enough for him. Had he said something similar this time? Was it worse? Had he told her why he was leaving? He probably hadn't. Who would tell the "love of their existence" that they were cheating on them? If I said that I hadn't seen what attracted him to Her, I'd be lying. She did have looks, looks grand enough to rival Rosalie. Where Rosalie was a Golden Goddess (based off what humans say about her, I don't think about her like that. She and I are basically siblings for crying out loud) Valerie was the Goddess of Night. Her skin was paler then most of our kind, but looked even more so with the startling contrast of her silken, raven toned hair. She had the body that girls, and women, would kill for. Voluptuous curves, toned muscles, perfect skin, slender waist, her eyes were sharp, feline you may say, enhanced by the golden color of her eyes. All topped of with a voice for Angels to be jealous of.

I tuned back into the present as Bella stared off into space, her eyebrows scrunched. I looked at her as she thought. This must be how Edward felt around her; desperate to know what she was thinking yet unwilling to find out for fear that she would be angered by the interruption. Suddenly her eyes widened and her head shot up.

BPOV

I've had an epiphany before but this one shouldn't have even been an epiphany. It was so obvious. If I could get another vampire to bite me before the nomad got here, then I could have someone help me through the blood-thirsty newborn stage. Who would bite me though? The only vampires I knew were the Cullen/Hale and the Gale 'Sisters'. The Sisters wouldn't bite her though, it wouldn't be safe. They weren't 'vegetarians', they still drank human blood, but not directly, there for not killing or changing their donors. I didn't have any contact with any of the Cullen's besides Jasper, so that was also out. Wait. Jasper. By brain commenced its bizarre equations. Jasper + my blood=wants. Jasper + my blood= Happy Jasper and Vampire Bella. Vampire Bella – Blood= no Nomad craving my blood. Nomad – craving my blood= Safety for me. Jasper changing me sounded really good now, but would he go for it? He did crave my blood, it may be too hard for him to resist. When my head snapped up his eyes were on me; his brow quirked in a questioning look.

Tell him or think some more. Which should I go with? I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. I tried again. Nothing. I needed to phrase this just right or he wouldn't do it.

"Jasper,"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask, just don't think that an answer is guaranteed," he warned.

"It hypothetical,"

"Ok…"

"Would it be safer if I was a vampire before the Nomad could get here and change me?"

"I suppose it would, but who would change you Bella? It takes a lot of control not too suck a human dry when changing them, but it would be even harder with you. You have abnormally sweet blood, Bella, you have to remember that."

"I have an idea of who could change me," I said slowly.

That threw him. "Who?"

"You,"

He froze where he stood. He slowly turned to face me again, his face carefully blank. "What,"

"You could change me, Jasper. It would be good for all of us. I wouldn't be as susceptible to death, you would get some tasty blood, and you and the rest of the Cullen's would never have to deal, or think of for that matter, of me ever again. " it sounded reasonable to me. It all made sense.

"I don't have the control to do that, Bella. The only one of us that has that kind of control is Carlisle and he-" I cut him off.

"Ya, I know. He doesn't want anything to do with a pathetic human such as myself. That's why you all left," I contained the hurt in me, just barely. I didn't want to let on how much it had hurt that they had left me again.

"No, he doesn't know how to face you, Bella"

"How can he not know how to face me?"

"His 'son' left you. Twice! Not only did he leave you, though, he cheated on you. Carlisle doesn't know how to face you because he's ashamed of what Edward did to you, both times."

"Oh"

"Yes 'oh'"

"Still, Jasper. I know that you could do it."

"I'd kill you, Bella"

"Yes you would, that's what becoming a vampire means"

"You wouldn't be coming back"

"Jasper, I WANT you to be the one that changes me"

That shut him up for a moment. "You have a death wish don't you," he whispered in horror.

"No, I'm just a very trusting person. Now, are you going to change me or not?"

"What would you do if I said no?"

"I'd either A) go to another vampire, no guarantee that they will be vegetarians B) cut myself so that you have no choice but to bite me or C) kill myself"

Thank you for reading!

Comments are welcomed


	6. They Can't do That!

Sorry for not updating sooner, there was more family in town and I didn't have any time to get this started.

Rated T for mild swearing

Readers: it's going to be harder getting longer chapters up- school's starting back up and I'm going to be working on those things more than these. I will still be posting it just won't be as often or they will be shorter (again).

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS

-Stephanie Meyer owns them

Thank you for reading!

Previously:

"_I'd kill you, Bella"_

_ "Yes you would, that's what becoming a vampire means"_

"_You wouldn't be coming back"_

"_Jasper, I WANT you to be the one that changes me"_

_That shut him up for a moment. "You have a death wish don't you," he whispered in horror._

"_No, I'm just a very trusting person. Now, are you going to change me or not?"_

"_What would you do if I said no?"_

"_I'd either A) go to another vampire, no guarantee that they will be vegetarians B) cut myself so that you have no choice but to bite me or C) kill myself"_

Currently:

"Bella, that's not fair," Jasper was nearly growling at this point. I couldn't really blame him though, he wasn't as good with blood, or this topic, as the other Cullens.

"Jasper, I want to be a vampire, I still want to be one after years of you guys being gone! I've had years to think about this, why else would I have brought it up again? I've seen what vampires can do power wise, been bitten by a blood crazed tracker vamp, been attacked by ANOTHER blood crazed vamp as a favor for yet another vampire! I've been through hell and back since you guys left, yet I still want you to turn me, I have no reason to want it other than it would make everyone's lives easier. You wouldn't have to worry about biting me, because my blood would no longer be an issue. None of you guys would have to fight to keep me alive and people wouldn't end up getting hurt because of me, and I wouldn't fear for my life every time a new vampire comes into town," I was gasping for breath by the time I finished my speech. I really need to stop doing those uber long speeches in one breath.

He looked at me with a small amount of amazement; toward my speech. He didn't look like he was going to be moving any time soon, so I made to stand up when his hand shot out and grabbed my arm. He collected himself and he got that look in his eye that told me I wasn't going to like what he said next.

"What about your family, Bella? Aren't they going to wonder about why you aren't ever going to visit them? Aren't you going to miss them," he said, southern twang coming out more and more with agitation. All I could think after he said that though was: Ouch, low blow much? Oh, but he wasn't done yet. "What about your friends, to be specific, the Wolves? What are you going to do when they hate you? You're never even going to be able to **talk** to them. They'll hate you that much for becoming one of Us."

"First off, Jasper, My family wouldn't really care! I haven't seen my mother in years, what makes you think that it will become oh so important to her to see the daughter that she was so disgraced of that she gave me the boot? Do you honestly think that it would matter to her what happened to me? If you dare to say that she would care then how about you go to see for yourself! She disowned me, Jasper. She doesn't care. She never did, that's why she let me come here without a word to try and stop me. That's why her attempts to bring me 'home' were always so feeble," I had a calm exterior as I said this, but on the inside I was a raging pit of despaired turmoil. He tried to interrupt me, but I was too into it. I was too far gone to care. He had gotten me started and I wasn't about to stop now. Not when I finally had the chance to get it ALL off my chest. "Don't you dare start in on my father, Jasper. You know damn well how that would go if you did. I love him to death and there is no way better than this as a way of saving him from Death. As long as I'm human myself and everyone around me is at risk. I don't want to live in fear that someone I love is going to end up dead because they were trying to protect me or even because of revenge!" Jasper stayed quiet and I knew that he was thinking about how Victoria had wanted revenge on us for killing her mate. An eye for an eye, a mate for a mate.

"And for your information, the wolves wouldn't care if I was a vampire. They've already demolished the treaty."

He looked as close to being in shock as a vampire possibly could. His eyes were widened and his mouth was slightly opened, moving, but no sound coming out. "They did what?"

I rolled my eyes. "You heard me. The wolves demolished, got rid of, eliminated! Whatever you want to call it. They got rid of the treaty and the Pack accepted me as one of their own. They wouldn't be happy about me changing, but they know damn well not to go against what I say." Jasper got that confused look back on his face. He really didn't get that things had changed since they had last been here. "Yes, Jasper, I've gotten a backbone. Said backbone is coated in steel, iron, and all other tough stuff. I can be nice and sweet, but if you cross me or tick me off, you will be dealing with the Queen Bitch. Piss me off and you will suffer the rath of one that even the Pack runs in fear of." He was getting quite the shock today, what will all the talk off my newfound backbone, swearing, and the fact that I now ran with wolves.

"Things have really changed here, haven't they." I knew he wasn't asking me, but I answered anyway.

"More than you now." That made the confusion reappear on his face. I could practically hear the thoughts churning through his head: What is she talking about? Why did things change to this point? What did Edward say to her THIS time? Why can't I get a reading off her? Of course, he wouldn't be finding out the answer to the last one.

"By the way, Jasper, how long are you sticking around?" I might as well get it out there; make it clear that I already knew he was leaving again.

He looked surprised by the question. "I'm staying, Bella."

"I get that you're going to be here for awhile, but when is the visit going to be over?" he didn't get what I was asking?

"Bella…" he said slowly, "I'm not leaning again. The others are going to be coming back in about a week."

My world stopped spinning right then and there as he said those final words. What did he mean they were coming back? Here? No. He couldn't have said that. I heard him wrong. "What was that?"

"The others are coming back here, Bella. They want to see you again."

I had heard him right, but oh God I wish I hadn't. I wish that he hadn't come here, I wish I had never met him or any of the others, I wish I had never dated Edward. So many things I wished I could have turned back time to make sure never happened. They left, so why couldn't they just leave me alone, stay out of my life for once and for all. They kept coming back whenever they wanted their old toy back, but left the second they tired of me. Couldn't they find someone else to destroy the life of? I felt my eye brows pull together and my mouth tighten into a thin white line.

"They aren't coming back, Jasper,"

"Yes they are, they want to see you, apologize for leaving you behind."

"They are not coming back, Jasper," I put emphasis on my words so he would understand. I didn't doubt that they would come, I was telling him that they weren't sticking around, not if I had any say in the matter. Not if I had any say in what happened in MY life.


	7. Just Leave

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING (Books, Characters)

- **Stephanie Meyer** owns them)!

Rated T for mild swearing

Readers: Thank you for being patient with my irregular posting!

Previously:

"_By the way, Jasper, how long are you sticking around?" I might as well get it out there; make it clear that I already knew he was leaving again._

_ He looked surprised by the question. "I'm staying, Bella."_

_ "I get that you're going to be here for awhile, but when is the visit going to be over?" he didn't get what I was asking?_

_ "Bella…" he said slowly, "I'm not leaning again. The others are going to be coming back in about a week."_

_ My world stopped spinning right then and there as he said those final words. What did he mean they were coming back? Here? No. He couldn't have said that. I heard him wrong. "What was that?"_

_ "The others are coming back here, Bella. They want to see you again."_

_ I had heard him right, but oh God I wish I hadn't. I wish that he hadn't come here, I wish I had never met him or any of the others, I wish I had never dated Edward. So many things I wished I could have turned back time to make sure never happened. They left, so why couldn't they just leave me alone, stay out of my life for once and for all. They kept coming back whenever they wanted their old toy back, but left the second they tired of me. Couldn't they find someone else to destroy the life of? I felt my eye brows pull together and my mouth tighten into a thin white line._

_ "They aren't coming back, Jasper,"_

_ "Yes they are. They want to see you, apologize for leaving you behind."_

_ "They are not coming back, Jasper," I put emphasis on my words so he would understand. I didn't doubt that they would come; I was telling him that they weren't sticking around, not if I had any say in the matter. Not if I had any say in what happened in MY life._

Currently:

He stared at me, not speaking, for awhile before he spoke.

"Why won't they be staying," he questioned slowly. Could he honestly not see why they could not stay? Why I would not want them to?

"It's not just them,"

"What?" he looked confused. Apparently it wasn't as obvious to him as it was to me that I still considered him part of that family.

"I said: It's not just them," when his eyes didn't show any signs of understanding I continued. "They won't be the only ones leaving; you will be leaving with them."

"Bella…" he started.

When I started talking, my eyes were downcast, looking not at his eyes, but at his shoulder. "They can come here," my eyes snapped to his, "but they won't be staying. You won't either, but you won't be leaving at the same time as them. You will need to turn me, but the second you bite me you will turn around and leave. You will walk out the door and you won't come back." I spoke softly, but iron strength rang out in every word. My eyes did not leave his, not until I saw the realization dawning in his eyes; he knew that I had changed, he just hadn't seen how much.

"Bella…" he tried again, voice fading. "Bella, we won't leave. Not again." I think he was aiming for the same strength in his voice, but it came out raspy and pained.

"Yes you will." He tried to interrupt me, again. Didn't he realize that I wasn't going to stand for interruptions? "You might stick around for a while, maybe a few years, but in the end it's going to play out one way. You'll get bored and you'll leave, again." I took in a breath, "I nearly died the first time you guys left, but I still decided that I would take the risk and let you guys back in. I even knew that Edward was going to leave me for another and that the rest of you would follow his example and leave. About two years after he left this time, I was over him and over the pain that you and the rest of your family caused, I started living my life again. I'm not going to stop them from coming or you guys from being here for awhile, but don't count on me being your entertainment again. I'm not going to let myself get hurt over anyone. No one is going to hurt me like that again."

I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes, but I wasn't about to let them fall. Not here, not now, and not in front of Jasper. I wouldn't let the tears fall and I wouldn't let that blush come through. I won't give my soul for a few days of bliss, just to be damned by my pain. Damned by my hatred. Damned by my caring. I won't let myself break down and scream my pain. I won't let him see the way that this visit has affected me.

"I want you to leave now, Jasper." I whispered. I barely heard him as he walked out, the door closing being the only sign that I could hear of his departure. I turned my back and headed for the fridge, grabbed my bottle of Vodka, and poured a glass. This was going to be a long night.


	8. Drunken Awakenings and Morning Shock

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING (Books, Characters)

- **Stephanie Meyer** owns them)!

Rated T for mild swearing

Yay! Two chapters in one day!

Readers: Thank you for being patient with my irregular posting and the Jasper and Bella romance is coming up.

**Previously:**

_I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes, but I wasn't about to let them fall. Not here, not now, and not in front of Jasper. I wouldn't let the tears fall and I wouldn't let that blush come through. I won't give my soul for a few days of bliss, just to be damned by my pain. Damned by my hatred. Damned by my caring. I won't let myself break down and scream my pain. I won't let him see the way that this visit has affected me._

"_I want you to leave now, Jasper." I whispered. I barely heard him as he walked out, the door closing being the only sign that I could hear of his departure. I turned my back and headed for the fridge, grabbed my bottle of Vodka, and poured a glass. This was going to be a long night._

**THE NEXT DAY**

Thump. ThuMP. THUMP. My head was throbbing. I had too much to drink last night. Why had I been drinking last night? I couldn't remember…That could be a good thing, I guessed. When I got downstairs I saw a note from Charlie saying that he had to get back home and that he was sorry that he couldn't have said goodbye to me in person. I miss it when Charlie has to go back home, but he only gets so long to visit me. I couldn't help thinking about why I had been drinking, though, as I prepared my Hangover Smoothie and grabbed the Tylenol. I had just downed the medicine and smoothie when I heard a faint tap on the front door. I got a tingling sensation on the back of my neck as I heard it. Why would I…oh god. There is only one reason why I get the tingly feeling: Paranormal and Stalkers, sometimes a combination of the two…like last night when Jasper was being my personal fanged stalker.

I heard the tap-like knocking again, and I briefly wondered if I had time to escape out the back door or if I was destined to always be caught at the worst of times. Was It just Jasper, or had he brought the rest of them? I shuddered at the thought of having to deal with all of them, especially with a killer hangover.

I put my glass down and made my way to the door. I opened it and looked out at my visitors with a carefully blank expression.

"Can I help you?" They looked shocked by my appearance. I knew I looked like hell: haystack hair, rumpled clothes, paler than normal complexion with a slight green ting, and bloodshot eyes.

"Bella?" they asked in unison, unsure that it was actually me. They couldn't imagine little ole me with a hangover I guess. I was too innocent to do that.

"Yes, what do you want. It's," I looked at my watch. "Eight thirty," I glanced back at them, "too early for company. I really hope that this is important enough for you to come barging back into my life at this god-awful hour so impolitely." I stared at them, waiting. I wasn't going to go easy on them just because they weren't use to the new me. They looked different though, I couldn't quiet put my finger on it, but they looked different. Paler, maybe? Not as lively, though that was ironic, the dead looking lively. It was their eyes, yes, their eyes. They were…empty. They looked like mine did.

"We wanted to see you again, Bella," said Esme. I almost felt bad about my rudeness with the fragileness of her voice, but then I forced myself to forget the caring family that they pretended to be, to remember the hatred that boiled under the surface of my skin for them.

"You wanted to visit your toy again? I'm shocked; I thought that after a toy was broken beyond repair that one would stop playing with it. And don't call me 'Bella', she died a few years ago, call me Isabella if you must call me anything." I turned back into the house, but left the door open. They could come in if they wanted. It took a few seconds, but I heard their footsteps on the tiles and them closing the door.

Let the fun begin.

**Jasper's POV (same day)**

The sun was rising low in the sky when my family and I started out running toward Bella's house. A lot had changed since we had left, especially Bella. Her whole attitude changed this time. Last time she was just wary about letting us back in, she thought that Edward hadn't loved her. This time though…

I was brought back to reality by Emmett grabbing my arm; stopping me from plowing through her house. I shook my head to clear it and looked to Bella's house and did a double take. It looked so different than it did last night. The light showed just how different things were. The garden, which she used to plant bright and lively colored flowers, now only had dark colors. Deep blues and bloody reds dominated while ivy crept up the walls. A weeping willows braches danced in the breeze. An old oak in the back dwarfed the house with its thick trunk and widespread branches. The house it's self was mainly white, but had dark green trim. A black F430 Ferrari **(A/N: Link on profile)** sat in the driveway.

"I like what she did with her new place," Esme said in awe. The rest of us were in agreement, she really had outdone herself with this house.

We knocked on the door a few times and waited a minute or two before we tried again. Nothing. We were about to try for the third time when the door swung open to reveal a very lethargic Bella. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were bloodshot. We all smelt the air and detected a whiff of alcohol. She had been drinking, and it had been quite a bit based off her appearance.

"Can I help you?" she asked us.

"Bella?" we were too shocked at her appearance, this couldn't be her.

"Yes, what do you want. It's," she glanced down at her watch, then back at us, "Eight thirty; too early for company. I really hope that this is important enough for you to come barging back into my life at this god-awful hour so impolitely." She stared at us.

"We wanted to see you again, Bella," Esme. I felt a faint spark of guilt form Bella, only for it to disappear the next second. What caused that guilt, I wondered. As I was contemplating it, I felt an explosive wave of fury from Bella. What caused that was probably a better question.

"You wanted to visit your toy again? I'm shocked," what was she talking about? What was this about her being a toy? I felt a pang of anger towards that. Why did I feel angry about her feeling that way? I didn't want to examine it, part of me did, but part of me wanted to go running for the hills. I snapped back as I heard her continue, "I thought that after a toy was broken beyond repair that one would stop playing with it. And don't call me 'Bella', she died a few years ago, call me Isabella if you must call me anything." Before we could do as much as speak a word, she turned her back and walked further into her home. We didn't move. Were we supposed to follow her in? She had left the door open…

"Who is that and what have they done to our Bella," exclaimed Esme.

"That is Bella, she's just had to change," I said.

"Again: that's not change, that's a new person."

"It's her defense mechanism. She had to learn to deal with pain somehow." I sighed. Why did we have to leave again? Why had we had to cause her all this pain?

"Jasper, this isn't our Bella, this is a cold hearted woman that is probably an alcoholic. Are you sure you got the right person last night?" Emmett asked.

"I'm positive. She's hurt and we're the ones who caused it,"

I took a step towards the door. Behind me I heard their sighs and their footsteps as they trailed behind me.

**Bella's POV**

I was sitting on the black loveseat and drinking the remainder of my smoothie when they came into the room. They looked awkward just standing there, but I just looked at them for a moment before motioning for them to take a seat. The air was thick with unease. They were uncomfortable. I decided that I would be nice and give them a few minutes to get used to the new me and converse amongst themselves. I stood and their eyes followed as I walked toward the stairs.

"I'm going to go change, feel free to look around a bit." I swear, the second I was completely up the stairs they started talking and rifling through my things.

I closed my bedroom door behind me and grabbed the closest pair of jeans and tank top that I had. I quickly changed and went to the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth.

Before I went back downstairs I stopped back in my room to drop off my clothes in my hamper. I stopped at a picture of three women on my beside-table and felt the familiar spike of pain in my chest. I closed my eyes and sighed. God I missed them.

I walked down the stairs and I got the feeling that I was interrupting something from the silence that followed my entrance.

"Let's get on to why you all are here, shall we?"

"We just wanted to see you, Bella," did they honestly expect me to believe that? Then again they knew me as sweet, innocent Bella. The old me who wouldn't even think about them wanting to destroy my life.

"Rosealie, we all know that that's not the truth. You guys wouldn't come back here to save my life, so why would you come to visit? And, again, don't call me 'Bella'."

That threw them for a minute. I saw the question running through their minds almost as clearly as if I could hear them: What did she mean about saving her life?

"What are you talking about, when did you need your life saved?" Alice asked slowly.

"You mean besides all the times that you guys had to fight other vamps?" I asked, "And shouldn't you know this Mrs. Clairvoyant?" she winced. "What?"

"Miss. Clairvoyant, now."

"When did that happen," I was so not expecting that. Wait, that meant that Jasper was a single man now…I stopped that train of thought in it's tracks. Hadn't I learned the first time? Me + Vampires = Disaster. End of story.

Alice and Jasper exchanged a glance, "Awhile ago."

"Why would you two spilt," I was genuinely curious, "Don't vamps mates for eternity?" they had been such a cute couple too. I would miss…No. Stop thinking those thoughts.

"Something…came up," she said. Jasper nodded. I stared at them. They broke up their marriage because something came up? What the hell was more important than your relationship?


	9. Teardrops on the Sand

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING (Books, Characters)

- **Stephanie Meyer** owns them)!

Rated T for mild swearing

Readers: Thank you for being patient with my irregular posting and the Jasper and Bella romance is coming up.

**Previously:**

_"Rosalie, we all know that that's not the truth. You guys wouldn't come back here to save my life, so why would you come to visit? And, again, don't call me 'Bella'."_

_ That threw them for a minute. I saw the question running through their minds almost as clearly as if I could hear them: What did she mean about saving her life?_

_ "What are you talking about, when did you need your life saved?" Alice asked slowly._

_ "You mean besides all the times that you guys had to fight other vamps?" I asked, "And shouldn't you know this Mrs. Clairvoyant?" she winced. "What?"_

_ "Miss. Clairvoyant, now."_

_ "When did that happen," I was so not expecting that. Wait, that meant that Jasper was a single man now…I stopped that train of thought in its tracks. Hadn't I learned the first time? Me + Vampires = Disaster. End of story._

_ Alice and Jasper exchanged a glance, "Awhile ago."_

_ "Why would you two spilt," I was genuinely curious, "Don't vamps mates for eternity?" they had been such a cute couple too. I would miss…No. Stop thinking those thoughts._

_ "Something…came up," she said. Jasper nodded. I stared at them. They broke up their marriage because something came up? What the hell was more important than your relationship?_

**Currently:**

After we got through the whole thing about Alice and Jasper being separated, we moved on to the "more important" matters. Why was I so skinny? Was I eating all right? What was my job? Was I seeing anyone? How was everyone here? How was my family? What was the situation with the Wolves? And my favorite: When were you needing your life saved, besides when we were here? To which the answers were the following: I was eating. I ate better and exercised more. I work for the State of Washington Police, specifically the paranormal cases or, as the normal people called the cases, cold cases. Don't have time for a relationship. Gossipmongers as usual. Mom was dead and Charlie was still Chief of Police. I am part of The Pack and the treaty has been dissolved. And finally, new covens and nomads came here and I nearly died a few times.

"More vampires, Bella? You really draw us in don't you," of course Emmett would laugh. I almost found myself laughing with him even. He just had that kind of atmosphere around him. A happy cuddly atmosphere. A small smile quirked my lips; I didn't to bother hide the smile, I even let a small bit of my emotions leak out.

"I guess I do, but it's more my blood and my mind then my sparkling personality," I said dryly.

"We like your personality, you're interesting. For a human," Emmett chuckled.

"Yes, I'm positively, amazingly, extraordinarily interesting. That must be why I'm always being attacked by random creatures. They must be trying to tap the awesomeness that is my mind and drink from the wine that is my blood from my heavenly body." I said sarcastically. I couldn't help it; it was part of my nature to be sarcastic and sometimes openly hostile, they didn't get use to it then to bad for them; they're in for a rude awakening.

"Why did you say the truth sarcastically, Be-Isabella," Jasper asked me. I started. I think that that was the first time he talked to me since last night.

"It's a lie and I've known it for a long time, don't try to tell me an obvious lie is the truth."

"You are interesting. You don't blather on about little things, you look at things in a different perspective and it makes the world look like a fascinating place through your eyes. Yes, your blood smells great, but it's not the only reason we're attracted to you. And yes, you do have an amazing body," I could feel my jaw go slack at that. He pretty much never talked to me and here he was spewing compliments. I thought that had no place in my mind streamed through: Since when has he noticed my body?

He must have felt my 'shield' slip and a spike of surprise and, dare I admit it, lust. I don't think he understood exactly where it was directed; a hint of confusion. Sadly he then understood the direction of my thoughts; his eyes lost the confusion and a playful vibe danced around him. A slow, small smirk graced his lips and his eyes held a twinkle that told me that mischief was running through his mind. I adverted my eyes that were unconsciously slipping to his mouth, and repeated in my mind, _'Can't touch, don't think about. Can't touch, don't think about. Can't touch, don't think about…unless the object of lust is a sexy cowboy. CAN'T TOUCH, DON'T THINK ABOUT'_. I swear I had another emotion spike, Jasper's smirk kept growing more and more pronounced; that stupid, little smirk. Why did he have to have the ability to read my every emotion? Why couldn't he be like Edward, in a sense? He just had to have a power that both worked on me and embarrassed me. A silent laugh shook his body as my face took on its all too familiar blush. I threw my 'shield' back up in hopes that I could keep him out of my head and heart.

"Something wrong Isabella?" he asked; directing all attention on me.

"No, why do you ask?"

"Your emotions are spiking like crazy, are you sure you're feeling alright?"

The others looked at me in concern. I can't help it, but those looks brought out a quality in me that I couldn't hold back: defensiveness. I could take care of myself, and others. I don't need ANYONE to worry about me. Why should the people that left me give a damn about how I am? If they really cared at all they would have either never left in the first place or stayed out of my life after they left. It wasn't good for my heart to have to suffer the things that these people put me through. They didn't even really care I bet. They just put up a front of caring so they could worm their way back into my life and get their kicks as they watch me suffer as they left. Again. I could feel my emotions pulsating throughout my being and I had to work to keep my emotional 'shield' in place. I took in a deep breath.

"I feel great, Jasper. You really shouldn't worry about me," I let the icy chill of my hatred and anger leak through. He stared at me in surprise, but all I could think about that was, 'did he honestly think that a short time of agreeableness was going to have me leaping into their arms? I never took him as an idiot, but if he had believed that I was going to have to reconsider.'

"Why are you so cold to us, Bella," they all questioned with their faces, but only Rosalie had the backbone to actually voice it.

"Can you honestly ask me that," I stared at her in a shocked, questioning silence. I let off a humorless laugh and watched as they flinched under my hard, unforgiving look. "I thought that it was rather clear why I would hold an…what would be the appropriate word…ah…aversion towards all of you." I looked at their faces one by one, "No? Well, I guess it's just not as clear as I thought it was. Let's start off with the most basic one: Edward. He lied to me at every word, every promise." They looked like they were about to object so I held up a hand and glared at them. "He swore he loved me, but he left me for another. He swore he would never leave me, but he left me twice. He swore that it would be as if he never existed, but I ached for him for years before I finally realized the pointlessness of wanting back what I never had in the first place."

"As for the rest of you, I thought I made it plenty clear about why I hold my aversion to you all." They looked more and more depressed as I stared hard at them. "What? Can't think of _any_ reason why I should have a grudge against you guys?"

"How about the fact that you guys pretended to care about me for your demented little game? How about the fact that you all said you thought of me as family but left me so easily? How about the fact that you never gave me any kind of explanation?" I paused for a moment. "What about the fact that you all never bothered to say goodbye?" I whispered. I hated how my voice sounded so broken, but I couldn't stop it from sounding that way. I hated that I felt the hot tears fill my eyes and run down my cheek. It had been years since I last cried and it felt so wrong letting them see my tears; I whipped around and ran out the door.

I barely registered anything as I ran; nothing except that the moon was up and the stars were shining: we'd been talking all day. I ran and ran until my house was out of site. I ran until the trees surrounded me and I heard the steady flow of the waterfall gushing into the lake and didn't stop until I was standing in front of the mirror like water. I'd always loved this place, always beautiful and in constant change. It was one of the few constants in my life. If I were to close my eyes, I could still tell you every little detail about this place. The whispered melody of the birds is the music that the fireflies dance to. The wind blows the branches of the weeping willows and I can hear a soft whistle as it passes through the leaves. The grass is always green, seemingly never affected by the seasons. After a rain, the grass is crowned by dew drops; to me they look like little lights, when the moon hits them right. Sand surrounds the lake looking so white, almost as white as snow. Moonlight reflects on the lake like a mirror; undisturbed by the waterfalls current. The water is a blue so clear that it is almost as if it were glass.

I closed my eyes and listened, sinking down onto the sand. I felt the tears still coursing down my face and I didn't wipe them away, it had been so long since I had let myself cry.

I heard the footsteps as whoever it was came closer. They didn't even bother trying to be silent; it was a bit odd considering their kind was known for their swift and silent movements.

"What do you want," I internally congratulated myself on keeping my voice from quavering.

"Bella, know that you're crying." A spark of surprise jolted me before I recognized who I was talking to. "I'm an empathy remember, there's no use trying to hide your emotions from me."

"Just leave me alone, Jasper. I don't want to deal with this now. Actually, I don't want to deal with this at all, but defiantly not now," I whispered. I tried to stop the tears, I tried to stop the ach in my heart; I just couldn't seem to stop either. I'm not quite sure what I was expecting to happen next, but what did happen was the one thing that never crossed my mind.

Jasper, out of nowhere, ran right at me in one of those silent darts that only vampires can accomplish, and grabbed me from behind. Before I could even start to understand what was happening, his arms were wrapped around my torso; pinning my arms to my side, and me to his rock hard body.

Bad me…. I left you at this cliffy.

Cruel and unusual punishment: Jasper finally makes a move and I cut it off- SORRY!

Besides the fact I left it as a cliffy…..how was this chapter? Awesome? Good? Ok? Bad? OMG- I- WANT- TO- DESTROY- THIS- FANFICTION- IT'S- SO- BAD- bad?


	10. Apologies and Laughing Fits

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters! All I DO own is the plot.

-Stephanie Meyer owns all except the plot

Rated T for mild swearing

Readers: Thank you for being patient with my irregular posting

**Previously**

"_How about the fact that you guys pretended to care about me for your demented little game? How about the fact that you all said you thought of me as family but left me so easily? How about the fact that you never gave me any kind of explanation?" I paused for a moment. "What about the fact that you all never bothered to say goodbye?" I whispered. I hated how my voice sounded so broken, but I couldn't stop it from sounding that way. I hated that I felt the hot tears fill my eyes and run down my cheek. It had been years since I last cried and it felt so wrong letting them see my tears; I whipped around and ran out the door._

_I barely registered anything as I ran; nothing except that the moon was up and the stars were shining: we'd been talking all day. I ran and ran until my house was out of site. I ran until the trees surrounded me and I heard the steady flow of the waterfall gushing into the lake and didn't stop until I was standing in front of the mirror like water. I'd always loved this place, always beautiful and in constant change. It was one of the few constants in my life. If I were to close my eyes, I could still tell you every little detail about this place. The whispered melody of the birds is the music that the fireflies dance to. The wind blows the branches of the weeping willows and I can hear a soft whistle as it passes through the leaves. The grass is always green, seemingly never affected by the seasons. After a rain, the grass is crowned by dew drops; to me they look like little lights, when the moon hits them right. Sand surrounds the lake looking so white, almost as white as snow. Moonlight reflects on the lake like a mirror; undisturbed by the waterfalls current. The water is a blue so clear that it is almost as if it were glass._

_I closed my eyes and listened, sinking down onto the sand. I felt the tears still coursing down my face and I didn't wipe them away, it had been so long since I had let myself cry._

_I heard the footsteps as whoever it was came closer. They didn't even bother trying to be silent; it was a bit odd considering their kind was known for their swift and silent movements._

"_What do you want," I internally congratulated myself on keeping my voice from quavering._

"_Bella, I know that you're crying." A spark of surprise jolted me before I recognized who I was talking to. "I'm an empathy remember, there's no use trying to hide your emotions from me."_

"_Just leave me alone, Jasper. I don't want to deal with this now. Actually, I don't want to deal with this at all, but defiantly not now," I whispered. I tried to stop the tears, I tried to stop the ach in my heart; I just couldn't seem to stop either. I'm not quite sure what I was expecting to happen next, but what did happen was the one thing that never crossed my mind._

_Jasper, out of nowhere, ran right at me in one of those silent darts that only vampires can accomplish, and grabbed me from behind. Before I could even start to understand what was happening, his arms were wrapped around my torso; pinning my arms to my sides, and me to his rock hard body._

**Currently**

**Jasper's POV (right when Bella runs out)**

I couldn't seem to get my limbs to move, I was just so shaken. What she said…she honestly thought that we hadn't ever cared for her in the slightest. I couldn't blame her, not completely, but that wasn't because it was all true. We did leave her without so much as a good-bye, but it had all been my fault. If I hadn't tried to…eat her, we wouldn't have had to leave and she would never have been heartbroken. She never would have hated us for leaving her, and she wouldn't have ever believed that we didn't love her like the family we all were going to be. Something about my last though brought on an odd feeling in me and it was by no means pleasant. If I said that I didn't know what it was I'd be lying. It was pure, unadulterated loathing. It wasn't just that thought, but I couldn't admit it to myself that I was indeed feeling it. I didn't want to admit it; I couldn't. I couldn't get my legs to follow the insistent orders I was sending them, I couldn't make myself run after her.

I could hear her heart racing and her breathing growing harder and faster as she ran; away from us. The scent of her tears was nearly overpowering and I stepped forward, desperately wanting to go after her, to comfort her. I _felt_ more than heard them when they came towards me. They were concerned that I had reached my breaking point. It irritated me more than I cared to think about that they still didn't trust me after all these years of not taking a single drop of human blood into my body.

"I'm fine," I told them. I could feel their concern, for me and for her. I could practically taste their horrible, bittersweet fear. Not for her funning away, but for the possibility, in their minds, that I would attack her if I was to follow her.

I didn't wait for them to actually grab me. I took off after her, slower than normal, but still fast enough to be practically behind her. The forest path that she followed narrowed out and then expanded into a clearing. No matter how much she had changed, I still could not believe that she hadn't fallen once on that path, what with all the unearthed roots and jagged rocks. As I slowed to a walk I realized that her path continued on past the small clearing, and I followed it. Her scent led me to a larger clearing; more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before. A medium sized lake that resembled a mirror with a waterfall surrounded by weeping willows that branches caught both the song of the wind and the iridescent light of the full moon. The grass was so green that even my vampiric senses could not find a single fault. The only thing that could bring me out of my amazed stupor was the sound of pained whimpers and cries. Bella. The salty odor of her tears was so strong. It pained me to know that I was the main reason for her tears, that I was the cause of it. She was curved inward, seemingly trying to protect herself. As I walked closer she uncurled her body a little so that she was only hunched over her knees with her hands buried in the sand.

"What do you want," she whispered, trying to conceal her pain. I froze for a moment, a moment so short that a human would have never noticed it. How had she heard me? I wasn't trying to be quiet, but even then, my movement was too soft for the human ear.

"Bella, I know that you're crying," I felt a spark of surprise come from her. "I'm an Empath, remember. There's no use trying to hide your emotions from me."

"Just leave me alone, Jasper," I felt a rush go through me when she said my name, "I don't want to deal with this now. Actually, I don't want to deal with this at all, but defiantly not now." She sighed out. I heard her trying to stifle her tears.

I don't know what came up in me, but it came hard and fast. I was no longer in control of my own body so I can't be blamed for doing what I did next. I rushed up behind her and wrapped my arms around her in an embrace that was as tight as I could without causing her discomfort. I heard her gasp, and I felt a swell of emotions crash down on me; blowing through one to the next so swiftly that not even with my vampire abilities could I decipher them.

**Bella's POV**

Shock

Fear

Happiness

Safety

Those and a thousand other feelings surge through me as Jasper held me in his firm embrace. The most prominent of the emotions, I must admit, were the shock and the amazing feeling of safety that being incased in his arms brought me. He never so much as talked to me when I was still with Edward for fear that he would slip up, what with my abnormally sweet smelling blood. Yet now he held me as close to him as a second skin. I don't recall a time, ever, that I had felt as secure as now. I felt the smooth skin of his arms as he held me close and I felt the wave of pure…happiness that he sent to me. I sighed in momentary pleasure at the feeling; it had been so long since I had felt anything even close to it.

I hate vampire hearing, especially when it causes my brief moment of happiness to be taken from me. He had heard my sigh and he must have taken it in the wrong way because he jumped back away from me as fast as vampirically possible. Even with my newfound skills in balance I stumbled with the speed that he retracted himself from me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done that," he was nervous, judging by the widening of his eyes and his babbling, "I know that you hate us, and you have every reason too, but I just couldn't just stand there and watch you fall apart like that! It's my fault that this even happened, and I can't express just how much I hate that I did that and how sorry I am that it had to happen to someone as good as you. You didn't deserve the crap that he put you through and it wouldn't be this bad if I hadn't introduced them to each other! I'm just so sorry Bella," he finished. It took a moment for me to reply to that, my brain had sort of blanked out after he started with his babbled speech. I shook my head to clear it of all the disjointed thoughts that had started up while he was talking.

"Jasper," I said slowly, "I honestly don't care if you introduced them." He tried to interrupt me. They really didn't realize that that didn't work very well when I'm the one talking. I don't like being interrupted. "Jasper, just shut-up." His mouth snapped shut with an audible click. "I don't care if you introduced them to each other. They were the ones that decided to make something of it and they were the ones who left. Did you tell Edward to hook up with her? Did you tell him to dump me for her? I don't think you did and I'm pretty dang sure that if I were to ask him he'd tell me that you hadn't. He made his choice, and quite frankly, it didn't surprise me. I'd always known that he was going to leave. I knew that he was going to leave the first time and I let it happen because it was meant to happen. I let him go this time because we weren't meant to be together. And what do you care if I was hurt by his actions? If I recall correctly, you all left with him both times that this has happened."

"Bella," he sighed, "we all care about you, despite what you have come to believe about us. We didn't toy around with you so we could get our kicks, we sincerely care about you. We want you to be happy. We want you to be able to go through life experiencing all the things that you couldn't if we were to stay and cause you more pain." He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. "You only have to say the word and we'll all pack our stuff and leave, we only want to be there for you Bella. I know we haven't been so good at it lately, but we really do want to help you out." His eyes were so full of emotion and I just couldn't look away. He was so different then I remembered; as were the others. Rosalie seemed to be more…compassionate and Emmett was more mature than the last time I had seen them. Even the demonic little pixie seemed to be more somber than I had ever imagined possible of her. Everything was changing, and I didn't like most of it.

I knew he was waiting for me to answer, and he was growing more and more anxious as time passed. After a few minutes passed, I had my answer.

"Jasper," he flinched. I imagine that he believed that I was going to tell him to leave. His new fear of me saying that they had to leave was really wearing on my nerves. "Jasper, stop being an idiot and stop tensing up before you've even heard the actual answer; it's annoying me to no end," He gradually un-tensed. "As I was saying…you guys can stay, even though you don't need my permission to do so."

His eyes widened comically and it would have been funny if it hadn't felt so insulting. Did he seriously think that I would say he couldn't do something when I had no control over what he did? The thought made me laugh: Me a weak human ordering around a super strong vampire; not going to happen a time soon. I must have had a weird expression on my face because his scrunched up and an eyebrow quirked up in question. I shook my head and my body rocked with my silent laughter. He must have been really feeling it because he was broadcasting his utter confusion. I couldn't help it, I laughed. I laughed loud and hard.

**Jasper's POV**

The tinkling of bells would be apt if she were laughing like Alice or any of the other women I had met over the years. Her laughter was more exuberant than that. The sound came from the heart and sang from the soul. It was the true Bella laugh, not like the childish giggles or the too many octaves high laughs that many women often tried to pull off. She let loose a laugh that rang through the trees and rebounded back and I couldn't help it: I was both happy and confused. I was ecstatic that she was laughing, but I was also confused as to what she was laughing at. I had the nagging feeling that she was laughing at me.

"What's so funny?" I questioned.

"Your face," she choked out through her chortling.

"What about my face?"

"The look on it,"

"And that look would be…what?"

"Confusion like I have seen on no other and a random thought that popped in my head."

"Care to share what that funny thought was?"

She drew in a long breath in an attempt to calm herself, but it ended in another round of amused snickers. "The thought that a weak little human such as myself would order around a super strong vampire and the vamp would actually listen."

"Humans order us around."

"Do you follow orders that a human gives you?" when I didn't reply she gave a short laugh, "No, you wouldn't. You would stare at the human like they were mental and walk away before it rubbed off on you."

"Maybe, if the orders were stupid or impossible like capturing the sun in a glass jar or holding the world on my shoulders. If they were reasonable and good orders, I might follow them."

"And a good order for a human to give to you is what exactly?" she leaned forward.

"A good order would probably be...I don't know."

"My point exactly."

**Bella's POV**

When I leaned forward, I could have sworn that I saw something in his eyes. Something sparking like when Edward was convinced he was in love with me. Then again this spark looked so much stronger. So much…more.

I leaned forward a little bit more and I could feel the cool aura of his skin less than a foot away from me. He leaned forward slightly, but the spark that I thought I had imagined in his eyes came back, and he looked hungry. He looked hungry, but I was willing to bet that the hunger I saw in his eyes wasn't the hunger for my blood that had been a divider between us as both family and friends. It looked like huger for the unattainable, hunger for another.

He said my name without breath, just a movement of his lips. He was looking me in the eyes and I could practically feel my bones turning to jelly under his gaze. "Bella" he said. I felt the delicious feel of his breath fanning across my face and my eyes narrowed as our body grew closer to each other; like a moth to a flame or the attraction between magnets: unavoidable attraction that is completely irresistible.

I don't know when it happened or even why I did, but my eyes closed and I felt his face draw closer to mine...

Reviews are highly appreciated

Thank you for reading


	11. Christmas and Ex's

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters!

-Stephanie Meyer owns all (except the plot- that I take credit for)

Rated T for mild swearing

Readers: Thank you for being patient about my erratic posting. Warning: minor OOCness and **minor** steamy scenes (relax; I'm not a lemon writer). I planned for this to be out yesterday (originally), but then I thought about it and decided that it would make more sense on Christmas Eve or Christmas it's self. I didn't think that any of you would appreciate it coming out on Christmas so here it is on Christmas Eve. As a gift, I give you this extra long chapter. Happy Holidays!

**Previously:**

_Bella's POV_

_When I leaned forward, I could have sworn that I saw something in his eyes. Something sparking like when Edward was convinced he was in love with me. Then again this spark looked so much stronger. So much…more._

_I leaned forward a little bit more and I could feel the cool aura of his skin less than a foot away from me. He leaned forward slightly, but the spark that I thought I had imagined in his eyes came back, and he looked hungry. He looked hungry, but I was willing to bet that the hunger I saw in his eyes wasn't the hunger for my blood that had been a divider between us as both family and friends. It looked like huger for the unattainable, hunger for another._

_He said my name without breath, just a movement of his lips. He was looking me in the eyes and I could practically feel my bones turning to jelly under his gaze. "Bella" he said. I felt the delicious feel of his breath fanning across my face and my eyes narrowed as our body grew closer to each other; like a moth to a flame or the attraction between magnets: unavoidable attraction that is completely irresistible._

_I don't know when it happened or even why I did, but my eyes closed and I felt his face draw closer to mine..._

**Currently:**

**Bella's POV**

His lips and mine were barely brushing when…my cell phone rang.

My eyes snapped open and I threw myself back. I groped for my phone where it had fallen in the grass beside the trees and I tried to forget the stinging pleasure that the icy feel of his breath on my lips had brought me. I flip my phone open and listen to the voice on the other end. As I register who is talking, I yelped. I felt a rush of love as I thought of her; what all she and her sisters did for me.

"Áine!"

Jasper lifted one of his elegant golden blonde brows as he felt the rush of love and excitement that must have been oozing from me. I shook my head at him; I'd explain later, now I just wanted to talk to her. I had to know how they all were doing since I'd last seen them. I heard him sigh in resignation as he registered the unswayable feel of my determination. I couldn't help but let a spark of smugness get through my mental defenses. I really just couldn't. I felt his glare on the back of my head as I turned around and I felt a shiver of pleasure and horror run up my spine as I remembered another place his breath had touched. The feeling was irrational, I knew, but it was still there. I shouldn't feel this way about him, I shouldn't feel anything besides hatred for all of them; they all abandoned me. They abandoned me…Not even just once, but twice. I couldn't let anything progress. But it felt so good, it's been so long since I'd been in any relationship and I was wanting it badly now. But would he even stay? Wouldn't he just leave me behind after the novelty wore off? Was I willing to take that kind of risk with my already mangled heart?

"Bella! It's been so long since I called you and I'm so sorry!" her Irish brogue was thick with regret. I felt myself warm as I listened to the familiar sound.

"Relax, Áine," I soothed her, "I've been busy, anyways; I'm not sure if I was even able to pick up the phone a few days ago."

"*Sibéal, you know that I'm not an idiot so why do you treat me as if I were one," she tutted at me.

"I know that you're not an idiot, but I have been busy lately," I paused, "as you're probably aware already." That got another eyebrow raise from the cowboy beside me. I shook my head; I had a lot of explaining to do later and that was just going to be added to the pile.

"I am aware. But _you_ already knew that, didn't you."

"You being you, yes," I said neutrally.

"I wouldn't be all-knowing if I didn't remember a basic fact like that, now would I?" she continued haughtily. I rolled my eyes at her tone and a soft chuckle escaped me. She was one of those people that you just have to love, no matter how rude or crude they were. She fell into the rude category, yet she was still able to capture the hearts of thousands of men even when she didn't try to. She was also one of those women that couldn't be with guy for more than a week without growing bored with him. She needed change. Constant change.

"No you wouldn't," I agreed. "Áine…why did you really call me?"

"Can't I call my dear sister to visit with her without being questioned about ulterior motives?"

"…" she read my silence correctly when she found that I wasn't tricked by her act.

"Fine, I called because…we're coming to visit you!"

I froze. What? What did she mean they were coming to visit? Not now, please not now. Not when I have to deal with Jasper and the other Cullens.

"What? What do you mean you're coming to visit, Áine," I spoke in a voice so deathly calm that I swear the grass around me started to turn black with death. I think that even Jasper shivered a bit at the sound of my voice. That didn't stop the curiosity from leaking from him as he listened to the conversation.

"I mean that Caterina, Alyona, and I are coming to visit you. We want to spend Christmas with our little sister. Are you going to impede our visit to you, our beloved little sister?" I hated it when she did that, she always knew exactly where to poke to get me to agree to whatever she proposed; no matter how extreme it was. I sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Fine. You guys can visit, but the house is not going to be cleaned up for you three, Your Highness," I said tersely. I hated it when she did the verbal puppy dog-eyes; I could never win against them.

**Jasper's POV**

I listened as she talked with…Áine; whoever that was. My curiosity was piked more and more as I listened to the conversation. Who was this Áine, and why did she keep calling Bella her sister? Who where the others that she mentioned? What were they to Bella? Questions flowed through my mind like a river; never ending in their surge.

"Fine. You guys can visit, but the house is not going to be cleaned for you three, Your Highness," she said angrily. What was with the 'Your Highness' thing? Why was Bella so ticked about someone visiting her? Will I ever be able to be around Bella without questions in a constant flow?

I continued to watch her as she snapped the phone shut, her back still facing me. I saw her take in a deep breath before she turned around to face me.

"I know, I know. I've got a lot of explaining to do," she sighed.

"Oh ya,"

"What do you want to know," she asked, resigned.

I thought to myself about what questions were the more important ones and came up with the answer that they were pretty much all important. I had a few days to ask all of them though, so I narrowed them down. Which ones with probably take the least amount of time to explain, I wanted to get in as many questions as I could today.

"Who's Áine, and what is she to you?"

"She's a woman I met a few years ago and she's my 'sister' as we all like to put it."

"All?"

"Her, her sisters and me."

"Where'd you meet them?"

"In Ireland."

"Ireland?"

"I traveled the world for awhile, about two years I think."

"…Why did she call?"

She hesitated. "," she said in complete gibberish. Even with my superb hearing, I couldn't make out what she said.

"Would you care to repeat that for me one more time?"

She inhaled deeply before she answered. "She called to tell me about the fact that they miss me and that they're coming here for Christmas."

"Okay…?"

"You'll see why I'm worried when they get here." She said, effectively closing the subject.

I sat there, in the grass, and thought about all that I had learned these past few minutes. She was the 'sister' of Áine and they had a strong relationship. Áine knew things that a human shouldn't (the future). They're all coming for Christmas. I'm going to meet them with the rest of my family. I halted my thoughts for a moment. Bella said that we could be there. A warm fuzzy feeling came at me. Yes I'm a guy feeling the warm fuzzies that girls talk of so often and all I have to say to it is that I wish I felt it more often.

**Bella POV**

**The next day**

Knock

Knock

I wandered to the door, stopping only to grab my robe from the stair rail as I passed. I always loved the robe; it's soft, silken texture on my skin was like resting in the clouds or floating on a calm pool of water. It was a dark blue, practically the color of midnight, with black lace on the edges; it was a gift from Angela for my twentieth birthday. She always was so sweet, even when I acted like a jerk to her on my bad days.

I unlocked the door, not bothering to look through the peep hole. Jasper was standing there in all his western glory: a black cowboy hat, white wife beater under a blue and white plaid shirt (unbuttoned) with the sleeves rolled to the elbow, faded blue jeans, and black cowboy boots. He looked delicious with his new look; the cookie-cutter golden boy look didn't do anything for him

"You're drooling, Darlin'," he let loose a rumbling chuckle as a smile overtook his tilted head.

I swiped my mouth to get rid of the drool that was on my face; there was none. I heard his chuckle again as he stood watching me scrub at my mouth and I stuck my tongue out at him; I never said that I needed to be mature about being laughed at. He just laughed harder and louder as I stood there staring at him and his nerve for laughing at me like that.

"What, you aren't going to let me in?"

"That's an idea, Cowboy. I won't have to deal with your mocking if I don't let you in…" I pretended to ponder it and watched as his smiling face turned into a frown.

"Ah, come on, Darlin'! You don't mean that really, do ya?" he said while pulling on his best pout.

I let him sweat it out a bit before I answered him. He deserved it with all the jokes at my expense.

"You can come in," I paused to block him from entering, "if you apologize and ask me _really_ nicely to enter my home." I said; my lips curving into a cat like grin. I couldn't help my need to tease him a bit; he did deserve it.

"I apologize from the bottom of my heart for acting so juvenile towards a beautiful woman such as yourself and I would be ever so appreciative if you would allow me into your home, Ma'am."

I couldn't stop myself form laughing at his overly serious tone as he apologized to me. I guess being a southern gentlemen was good for more than just impressing the ladies with your fine manners.

"You may enter my humble abode, kind sir," I choked out in between laughing fits.

"I must say that this is the best mood I've seen you in for awhile, Bella," he commented while we walked into the living room and plopped on the loveseat.

"It's the best I've felt in awhile," I admitted.

A lengthy silence followed my words and I began to regret them. It was about five minutes of silence before I prepared myself to try and mend the situation when Jasper finally spoke.

"What was the happiest time that you had since we…left," he surprised me by asking. And it took me a moment to formulate my thoughts.

"It'd probably be when I met Áine and her sisters a few years ago," I told him honestly.

"Really…"

"Ummhmm. What was yours?"

"Going off on my own for a year," he said slowly.

"What did you do?"

"I visited some family of mine,"

"I thought you didn't have any living relatives?"

"I didn't say that we were blood related."

"Where'd you meet them?"

"During the newborn wars; we were in the same section."

"You guys have kept contact for all these years? Amazing…"

"I guess you could say that," he trailed off.

I considered him and all that he just told me. He had told me before about his time in the newborn army; him being the youngest major of the Civil War being turned by three beautiful women that turned out to be vampires creating an army of newborns. This seemed a little more personal, though. He sounded like he was being put on display in his birthday-suit; bare to the world. I didn't like invading people's personal memories, but I was drawn in by him; I needed to know more about the dangerously handsome man beside me.

I turned in the seat to face him head on and stared at him as I put my thoughts into a clearer form. I studied his face as he turned to me. I felt his surprise at my staring and curiosity about what I was thinking; or at least I assumed those were the thoughts behind the emotions. His eyebrow raised in a silent question. I shook my head; he didn't need to know my thoughts along with my emotions. He shrugged his shoulders and turned his head away.

The silence was becoming less and less comfortable and I knew that I had to either say or do something to put a stop to it. I stood up and his gaze jerked to me in surprise of my sudden motion.

"I'm going to grab something to drink, do you want anything?"

"No thanks, Darlin'; there isn't really anything here that appeals to my palette," he said.

"I beg to differ, Cowboy," I said, surprising him yet again.

"I don't recall you keeping blood in stock here."

"I do, though." That got me another eyebrow raise. "What kind do you want: Deer, mountain lion, or bear," I asked nonchalantly.

"Where did you get the blood, Bella?"

"I got it from the source; the animals themselves, of course."

"They just clawed themselves and gave you some of their blood?"

"No, idiot, I got it while hunting. Which kind do you want?"

"You went hunting? Since when do you ever even touch weapons? I thought you didn't even like hunting…"

"I need to keep my skills sharp; I don't need to end up dead on the job."

"What the hell is your job and why do you need to worry about dying from it?"

"Jasper, I'm a government agent. I deal with federal crimes meaning I do have to know how to use a gun to protect myself and others when the criminal I'm after poses a threat."

"You said 'when' criminals you're after pose a threat. How often are they a threat?"

"Always."

"Why are you in such a dangerous career field, Bella?"

"I choose to do it because I wanted to. I enjoy knowing that I've gotten at least one more threat out of the open where he or she can do some serious damage. I don't just capture criminals; I capture the people that threaten our country. Jasper, I'm on the team that protects this nation from terrorists and hackers hoping to launch nuclear weaponry and destroy cities and towns. My other team members and I have to be the best of the best to keep the threats to a minimal or, even better, nonexistent." I said, voice rough with emotion. People never took me seriously about that being my job so I rarely mentioned it. Seriously, who would believe that a twenty-three year old was part of the team that was supposed to be protecting the entire nation from destruction when the Army, Navy, Marines, Navy, Coast Guards, and all the other sections of the military were taking care of things?

"Bella, when did you get into this…?" he asked hesitantly; trying not to piss me off any further. I almost laughed at the irony of the situation; the big strong vampire, who is pretty much indestructible, fears pissing off the relatively weak human.

"I've been a part of the team since I turned nineteen, it was actually a gift for my birthday; getting recruited by them, that is."

"You really enjoy your job, don't you?"

"Yes, I really do enjoy it. I have to say that I don't really care for the hours though; they're so erratic sometimes."

"I assume you get paid a lot for the risks you take, considering that car you have."

"That car was actually a gift from the other members after I joined them. The government gave us each gifts similar to that when we joined, but we each choose another vehicle for ourselves."

"I never pegged you as being someone wanting multiple cars; you always complained whenever someone got you a minimally pricy gift."

"Teaches you not to peg people before you really know them doesn't it."

"It does…"

"You never answered my question though, Jasper."

"What question was that?"

"What kind of blood do you want?"

He laughed at the question. "I'll take some mountain lion; I always prefer the more carnivorous creatures."

"Coming right up," I said while I walked into the kitchen to grab him some toast warm mountain lion blood.

**The Next Day**

_Today was gonna be the day  
He'd already wrote the note  
And parked that Chevrolet  
At the end of that dead end road  
Had his finger on the trigger; just about to end  
everything  
He was taking one last long breath; when he heard his  
cell phone ring_

I woke with a start as I heard my cell phone blasting Áine's ringtone. I felt around in the dark for my phone on my nightstand and growled as I found that I couldn't find it. I clicked to button on my lamp and looked around for my missing phone. I couldn't find the dang thing and I was getting more and more irritated as I listened to the ringtone repeat itself over and over. I felt a lump under my blanket and reached under the sheet. I felt the solid form of my phone and gave a satisfied smile. I flipped it open and heard the distinct sound of Áine clicking her tongue against her teeth; her typical sign of frustration.

"Hey, Áine."

"Finally Sibéal1 I thought you were never going to pick up."

"I shouldn't have considering that you are hardly being polite, what with calling me at the infernal hour."

"It's eight o'clock, Sibéal; hardly an infernal hour of the morning."

"All the hours before noon are infernal to someone that actually sleeps, Áine."

"Whatever just tell me where your house is would ya?"

"Why?" I questioned sleepily.

"Because we're in Forks right now trying to find your house, Sibéal; remember, we told you that we were going to be visiting you."

"Áine, I don't live in Forks anymore. I thought I told you that I moved to the Reservation in La Push…sorry."

"Where is your house then? Come on, give me some instructions so I can see my favorite little sister."

"I'm your only little sister. I live over by the coast of the reservations beach; right in the woodsy part before you get to the beach. Remember the area that I took you with Jake and the other guys? It's right there, you just take a right when you hit the sign and you go on a dirt path for a couple minutes. Then you will see an area with less trees and that is where you turn left to get onto my property."

"Thank you, Sibéal. See you in half an hour!" she hung up before I could warn her to go the speed limit; it was always so busy on the weekend, especially the weekend right before Christmas week. Everyone was rushing to get the final gifts that they needed and they weren't always pay close enough attention to the world around them when they were talking on the phone with their family about last minute adjustments to the holiday plans.

I dialed Jake; I had to warn him not to attack when he smelt a vampire on the Res, he would end up attacking her and that would just be messy.

"Jake," he answered; sleep evident in his voice.

"Hey, Jake."

"Bells! Why are you doing up so early?" he knew that I was never up this early. Never.

"I got woken up by a call."

"Who would call you this early in the morning? Do they have a death wish or something," he joked.

"I can't exactly kill the person that called me since she is already dead in a sense."

"Who called?"

"Áine."

"Why'd that little cream-puff call?" he was always calling her that; he knew that it irritated her coming from anyone, well, except him. I guess that the imprint made him allowed to call her that.

"She and the others are coming in for a Christmas visit and I told her how to get here. I called you to warn the guys not to attack when they smell a vamp on their turf today."

"She finally decided to visit? About time, it's been forever since I last saw her…" he trailed of wistfully.

"Jake, you saw her last week when you went to visit her in North Carolina."

"Bells, Bells, Bells," I could picture him shaking his head in mock disappointment, "being imprinted means that you need to be around them 24/7 otherwise you get crabby and depressed."

"I know, Jake, but still! A few days without her couldn't be that hard"

"Oh yes it can. Tell me when she gets in."

"Of course."

"See you later, Bells."

"See ya, Jake."

Right as I hung up, I heard the doorbell ring announcing a visitor. Was this National Bug Bella Day or something? The doorbell rang again as I was pulling on my robe.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your dang horses!" I speed-walked down the stairs and opened the door with a glare on my face that would make even the strongest and bravest shrivel in fear. "What?" I snapped.

"Good morning to you too, Darlin' and, yes, I would like to come in," said the cowboy waiting on my porch.

"Why is everyone deciding to visit me today and right now?" I groaned, "Doesn't anyone realize that I actually need to sleep to keep going?"

"Sorry, Darlin'. If you want, I can go," he said turning around to leave.

"I'm already awake and you're already here so you might as well just come in and tell me why you're even here in the first place."

"Can't a guy visit his friend's house without being given an investigation on why he's there?"

"Not when said friend only visits when he has bad news."

"It's not bad news and I really did just come here to visit with you. I need to re-get to know you considering all the lost time."

"Whatever. Do you want me to prepare you some blood?"

"You don't need to do that."

"I'm making myself some coffee and I would feel weird drinking that and you not having anything. That and it's a little awkward to be watched drinking when the other person doesn't have anything to drink."

"In that case, I'll take some more mountain lion," he said and followed me into my kitchen.

"I just have a quick question for you…" I nodded for him to continue while I stuck his blood in the microwave and got my coffee going, "Why do you keep blood bags in your fridge," I laughed at the absurdity of the question and the answer I was about to give.

"Because I have a lot of vampire friends that drink animal blood, and a few that drink human blood," I watched as the horror washed over his features and laughed, "Relax, they don't drain the humans or change them; they go to a blood bar and get blood that's been donated." His eyebrows drew together in his confusion; he probably had no idea that that sort of thing happened or that places like that existed for that matter. "Remind me to take you to one, they're quite good."

"You've been to one of these places," he said tightly. Aww, he was worried that something was going to happen to me while I was in a place full of vampires and blood together.

"Ya, I'm a donor to one of the local ones."

"You give blood to vampires," he shook his head in amazement, "only you would do that, Bella."

"Actually, several people donate. I give my blood because it's so sweet and it's apparently like the vampire version of a Midori Sour."

"Since when do you know alcohol?"

"Since I became a bar tender, so since two years ago."

"You're a bar tender and a federal agent. Wow, I never thought I'd see the day that you would even consider those jobs."

"I like both of them, and the people I work with are very entertaining. You can't go two minutes without one of them acting like an idiot," I said fondly. They really were crazy; purposely mixing up orders to get the regular customers to try something new, playful flirting with the customers to keep them entertained, and so many other things that they do to keep the place the most popular bar in the area.

"You enjoy the company of the other employees. What's the environment like?"

"It's like a nightclub; flashing lights, blasting music, dancing, all that kind of stuff. It's really lively and it keeps one in a good mood the whole time that they're there."

Ding

I grabbed his blood from the microwave and poured myself some coffee; black was the best way to have it.

I led him into the living room and we sat down on the coach as we had last night, but this time didn't have the awkward silence, it was a comfortable one.

He shifted a little and I looked up; vampires didn't really need to shift their bodies like humans did, they didn't get uncomfortable in any position no matter how long they held still. I raised my eyebrow in question at his shift. He sighed.

"Bella, about what happened three days ago…I'm sorry," his eyes got all big and his head was tilted down and away from me like a kid confessing to pulling a girls hair at recess.

"Relax, Jasper, I don't really care about it. I had a tantrum and now I'm fine." I got a bad feeling that this conversation was going to start going another way other than my tantrum.

"That's not the only thing I want to apologize for," he sucked in an unnecessary, calming breath and continued, "I mean to also apologize for what I almost did to you."

"What are you talking about, Jasper? Nothing happened." The feeling was getting stronger and stronger and I had a feeling that I knew exactly where this was going.

"Bella, I mean that I'm sorry for almost…kissing you. I had no right to do that, or even consider it, when neither of us were in any state to do that. It also doesn't help that you still hate me, but-"

"Jasper, I don't hate you and what's done is done. I don't try to change the past when I didn't do anything that I regret," I stated calmly even though I was in complete turmoil on the inside.

"Wait, you didn't regret what happened, well, almost happened," he said leaning forward slightly. I felt myself shift closer to him in response. I felt a need and I didn't think I could ignore it much longer; as a matter of fact, I think that my control was breaking even as I spoke.

We were only inches apart, both our eyes half-lidded in anticipation of what was about to happen. We were less than an inch apart and…

"Sibéal, we're here!" a sing-song voice announced.

"Oh my, sorry, Bella; we didn't mean to interrupt anything."

I rarely ever blushed now, but I was redder than a lobster when they all filed into the living room; staring between Jasper and I, less than an inch apart…

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you did," I said as I pulled myself away from Jasper in an unhurried motion.

"Áine, you need to call Jake before you do anything else. Caterina and Alyona, you guys go ahead upstairs and start unloading your bags in your rooms. Caterina, yours is the second door on the left. Alyona, yours is second on the right and Áine, yours is first door on the right; any questions about the temporary living arrangements…no? Good." I stood up from the coach and offered my hand to Jasper. I know he didn't need my help getting up, but I still offered. He grabbed my hand and pulled himself up with a little extra force, hoping to topple me over; I suspected. He didn't achieve his goal though; I'd gotten a lot stronger since they left and they'd have to figure it out sooner or later.

He pulled my face around to face him and looked me dead in the eye with a look that can only be described as pure fury and maybe a touch of concern.

"More vampires," he stated; his voice strained.

"Life would be to boring and uneventful if I were to eliminate vampires from my life."

"It would be a hell of a lot safer than having _human drinkers_ in your life," his voice was getting a little high pitch and pained; it reminded me of a few years ago when I racked that guy…his voice got so high when he tried to cuss me out. Fun times, fun times; sigh.

"Calm down, Jazz, it really isn't that bad. They drink human blood, but they have that lifestyle I told you about earlier; remember?" he apparently didn't. "No? Fine, they drink human blood, but they neither change or kill them; they have donors that give them blood." I saw the flash of recognition in his eyes as he remembered the conversation from earlier.

"What is it with you and creatures of the night? Both kinds of vampires and shape-shifters…you have a really bad case of death wishes don't you," he laughed; half amusement and half frustration.

"I blame you guys. I don't try to seek out the paranormal, they find me. Fate has a twisted sense of humor that involves throwing all creatures of the night within twenty miles at me. At least they all don't try to kill me."

"I should hope that your friends wouldn't kill you."

"They wouldn't dare."

"And why is that?"

"They know that I can kick their pasty white booties any day of the week and they can't do crap about it," I laughed out as I walked out of the room to help my sisters unpack their luggage, leaving Jasper to find his own room.

**That Night/Early next Morning**

I awoke to the clattering of pots and pans and looked at the clock with blurry, sleep-filled eyes. 12: 27 AM. What the hell was someone doing in the kitchen, banging pots and pans, at 12:27 in the damn morning (did I forget to mention that I'm by no means a morning person? No, well sucks to be you when I bite your head off). I rolled out of bed and hissed in pain as my ankle rolled out from under me thus spraining my left ankle. I grabbed the top of my dresser and pulled myself up from the floor. I gingerly balanced myself on my right ankle and began a slow walk to the stairs, keeping as much weight as I could off my left foot. I trudged down the stairs cautiously and listened as the clanking continued. I saw a light on, reflected from the mirror that I had strategically placed to show multiple spots that were unseen by my current location otherwise; a great protection against thieves hoping to catch the home owner unaware from behind.

"Who in God's name is making all that racket," I hissed out between clenched teeth; whether from anger or pain I wasn't quite sure. The crashing of metal against metal continued and I limped into the kitchen to bite of the head of whoever it was for waking me up at this cursed hour.

"What the hell are you doing done here making this cacophonous racket at 12:30 AM?" I whisper yelled at the silhouette by the sink.

Whoever it dropped the pans with a loud crash that, if not for the sound proofing in the walls, would have woken up the entire house. They let out a low curse and bent down to grab the pans from off the ground while I stared at them with fury in my eyes.

"Good mornin' to you too, Darlin'," a voice said dryly.

I recognized the voice and found myself shocked and curious as to why a vampire would be in the kitchen at all. Why, in all that is good and holy, was he using the pans?

"What the hell are you doing in the kitchen, Jasper? You don't even eat." If he was still human, I swear he'd have flushed a little at being caught doing whatever it was

"I thought you would enjoy some breakfast." He mumbled.

"I would, but I can make myself my own breakfast thank you very much."

"I know, but…being taken care of every once in awhile isn't a crime, Bella."

"I don't need to be taken care of. Whenever I let someone take care of me I end up regretting it so I'd prefer to avoid it."

"You won't let me take care of you even a little bit? Not even if it's in my nature to want to help a beautiful lady out?" I felt myself blush at his comment; it'd been so long since anyone had called me pretty let alone beautiful. I knew for fact that I wasn't beautiful, hardly pretty, and that people were just being nice when they said I was.

Jasper must have felt my feelings of insignificance and inferiority because his eyebrows drew together and his face became strained.

"Bella, you are beautiful, more than that really, but I can't explain to you just how gorgeous you are." He sighed. "Do I need to spell it out for you?" I didn't answer. "I'm taking that as a yes. Where to start is the only question." I stared at him incredulously. "There's so many great things about you, Bells, inside and out." My incredulity grew. "I'll start broad: Your beautiful, smart, and the nicest person I have ever met. You always choose others before yourself and I admire your courage when you faced all that, pardon my language, shit that was thrown your way. You're the most sincere person who walks this earth and it only adds to the beauty of your soul. I hate the fact that you think so little of yourself when really you're the embodiment of beauty. You never believe that you're even pretty when in reality you are so much more," I tried to interrupt him, but he clamped an icy hand over my mouth. With every word he said he leaned a little closer to me and I felt myself move towards him the more he spoke.

"Just listen to what I'm trying to tell you, Isabella," I felt a quiver go up my spine. I'd never really liked being called by my given name, but when he said it, it was like he was saying a prayer. "Now, since you don't see what I'm trying to tell you, I'll tell you straight out all the beautiful things about you. Your eyes sparkle with a celestial light that puts the stars to shame and they have a depth to them that shows emotions deeper than the sea itself. Your hair has a thousand and one colors; bronze, hundreds of different shades of brown, red, blonde, and gold all appear in that stunning hair of yours. That flawless skin of yours glows brighter than the moon and is smoother than silk and softer than water," he brushed his hand across my flushed cheek and I felt my face grow hotter as a small smile crept onto his face. His forehead was touching mine and I felt a smile come across my face.

"I love the way that your face flushes when you get embarrassed or angry, how your face gets all scrunched when you're confused, and how your nose crinkles when you laugh." With every detail he mentioned, he moved his hand over that part of my face. My eyes closed of their own accord as I continued to listen to his voice. "I love the way that you walk even if you think that it's just a normal walk; you flow across the ground like water and your hips swing, just a little, with every step you take. I love the melodic tone of your voice, even when you're yelling; it seems to always have a singing quality to it. The fact is, is that I see your strengths and I truly care about you despite your faults."

A shocked breath escaped me and I barely had time to suck in another before his lips crashed to mine; his rock hard lips against my soft, pliable ones. It was a soft kiss; even lighter than the beat of butterfly wings and just as soft. He was very controlled in the way that he held back; his lips still soft on mine, but raw feeling in every second. I felt his need almost as well as I felt my own; we both needed someone to love and we were each other's best choice. I felt myself melt into him and sighed in utter contentment as his arms wrapped around me in a loving embrace. I didn't care that he was the brother of my ex-boyfriend or that he once thirsted for my blood like a man in the desert thirsted for water, I loved him. It scared me still to even think about love, but I felt safe with him; he wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't hurt me because he loved me. The shock of my revelation hit me dead on; he was in love with _me_. I still felt the need to pull away and hurl my body to the other side of the room, but I stifled it. I needed to get over my abandonment issues and trusting Jasper would be a great way to start the ball rolling.

I clutched the back of his neck with one hand and twisted my other hand in his untamable hair; it was just as silky as it looked. I felt more than heard his moan and, I'll admit it, it was hot to hear my cowboy moaning for my kisses. Jasper, _my_ cowboy; I think I could get use to that and I certainly planned to. My train of thought was quickly diverted as his hands grabbed my hips and his body became pressed to mine in an attempt to get closer. The kisses got hotter as his mouth got more aggressive in it's attack on mine. Our heads slanted this way and that; trying with all our might to get closer than we already were, but to no avail. My hands came away from his neck and hair and quickly latched onto his shirt; it was crumpled within moments due to my vise like grip.

I felt my lungs scream in protest of depriving them of oxygen so I pulled my mouth away from his, keeping my hands fisted in his shirt. He peppered my face and neck with kisses and I knew that by the time everyone else was getting up I'd have tons of hickeys.

I had never noticed just how tall Jasper was, compared to me; I had grown five inches since the last time I'd seen him and he still towered over me by about a foot. He was leaning down to reach me and I was on my tip-toes for him. I pulled my body away from his and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the disappointment on his face. I walked over to the island in the middle of my kitchen and hopped up onto it. I waved him over and the confusion on his face was adorable and I barely resisted the urge to hug him. The confusion gradually faded as realization took over at the wave of my hand; beckoning him over to me. He was again in my arms within seconds and I inhaled his scent; slight saltiness like sweat mixed with the earthy smell of dirt, combining the two made the smell of a hard working man and I loved it.

"Good morning! Oh! I didn't mean to inter-" squeaked Caterina. She was too pure to understand what all was happening. She had been alive for over eight-hundred years, yet she had never been able to find a real match. Men had been thrown at her, but she could never find one that fit her personality; she needed a man that would treat her right and take care of her, she wanted him to respect her decisions and talk to her when major decisions were being made, and she wouldn't mind if he was a tall blonde with baby blue eyes that had a sense of humor.

"You aren't interrupting anything, Cat. Jasper here was just helping me get breakfast going." I cooed at her, she was still so young, only fifteen when she was changed.

"It didn't look like that was what he was doing." She smiled in confusion.

"That's because he wasn't, Dear." Áine stated dryly. "Sibéal and Jasper were having a little bit of fun so we best be on our way to our rooms so they can have some alone time." She finished, smiling wickedly as she led Caterina out of the kitchen. I glared at her; mentally telling her that I didn't appreciate my lil' sis being corrupted by her.

An awkward silence came over the kitchen after the footsteps faded.

"Well that was…interesting," Jasper and I said simultaneously. We looked at each other and laughed. It had been so long since I had laughed so hard I started to cry that I laughed even harder; trying to enjoy the moment while it lasted. I leaned my forehead against his chest and his arms wrapped around my shoulders as both our bodies shook with our laughter.

I breathed in a slow breath; trying to collect myself. I put my hand against his chest and pushed lightly; he got the message and backed up enough for me to get off the counter. I pecked him on the cheek and walked back to my room; forgetting all about the food. It was only after I had been lying down in bed for fifteen minutes that I realized that I had never grabbed the ice that I was going to grab. I let out an irritated groan and heard the laughter of four vampires.

**A few hours later**

My ankle hurt. No, it didn't hurt; it throbbed with the excruciating pain that enveloped me. A low hiss came from me as I tried to move my ankle. Not even ten seconds later, Jasper was in my room and beside my bed with a worried expression on his face.

"What is it, Darlin'? What happened?" he questioned.

I couldn't speak through the pain so I unclenched my fist and pointed down at my ankle. I was depressed at my reaction to a sprain when I had been shot and reacted far less. His icy hand dusted over my ankle and I let out a pained yelp when it jostled my ankle. His hand jerked away and he looked at my pained face.

"When did this happen?"

"Last night," I croaked out.

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have distracted you like that if I'd known you were hurt"

A pained smile spread across my face; I was smiling a lot lately and I enjoyed it. "Are you trying to say that you wouldn't have attacked me like you did." I got the feeling that, if he could, he would have been blushing at my comment; you have to love his southern gentleman qualities like that.

"Yes, I am saying that," a smile started on his face and I started to look a little wicked. "I would have at least waited to ravish you until after your delicate ankle was healed." Now it was my turn to flush at his comment.

"Bella! Bella! Where are you, Bella?" the girls called.

"In my room." I said just before they charged in. they may have been hundreds of years old, but they still acted like children.

"Oh, sorry; didn't mean to interrupt you and Jasper. Again." They said. "We need to talk to you though!" I swear they were just bigger copies of Alice. They were so dang hype all the time.

"What did you need to talk to me about?"

"A Christmas party."

"Where is it?"

"…here."

"Why would there be a Christmas party here?"

"Because you are an amazing sister and you want to make your sisters happy."

"Who would be coming?"

"Not too many people."

"Who would be coming?" I persisted.

"All of us, the Cullens since you seem to have made up with them, Ryan and his sisters, and Luke."

"You call that 'not a lot of people'?"

"That's not a lot of people," Jasper cut in.

"So you think that twenty people isn't a lot of people?"

"Twenty people?"

"Yes. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Edward, You, Me, Alyona, Caterina, Áine, Ryan, all seven of his sisters, and Luke would be attending."

"That is a lot of people for a house as small as this." He agreed.

"My house is not small, but twenty people is still a lot." I turned to the girls. "I don't mind if there's a party, but I decide who all is going." They looked half happy and half sad; they didn't get to see everyone that often.

"Fine," they sighed dramatically, "pray tell, who is allowed to enter your domain for the holiday festivities?" they asked sarcastically.

"If you're going to be all snippy, you don't need a party." I warned them.

"Noooooooo! We didn't mean to be rude! Seriously, who are you going to let come; we really want to know."

"The Cullens and Ryan are the ones that are invited."

"Aww, but what about Luke; why can't he come here for the party too?"

"I talked to him the other day about visiting and he said he couldn't make it. He said to send you guys his Merry Christmas and happy New Year spiel and that your gifts will be here by the time I finish telling you about them," I was cut off by the deep bongs of the doorbell. Luke had great timing. "I'll go get that," I told them.

"Delivery for," the mail boy, Shawn, looked at the paper, "the Gale Sisters and you, Ms. Swan."

"Thank you," I said as he passed the packages, all twenty of them, off to me.

"Have a Merry Christmas, Ma'am," he said as he walked back to his car, shivering in his thin coat.

"Wait one moment please," I said as I reached to the coat hooks for the thick winter coat that was never used; it was much too big for me. "Take this with you, Shawn; I'm cold just from looking at you." He looked grateful for the coat; he was so cold that his nose was starting to turn blue.

"Thanks, Ms. Swan."

"Again, I told you that you could call me Bella; everyone else does."

"Ok, Thanks, Bella."

"Happy holiday, Shawn, and say hello to your mom for me." I said as I walked back into the house.

"JASPER, GET YOUR SPARKLY BUTT DOWN HERE AND HELP ME CARRY THESE BOXES!" I shouted to him from the doorway. In less than two seconds he was standing in front of me with his arms outstretched for the boxes. I handed them to him until he had half of the boxes. After we dropped the stuff off in the kitchen, I proceeded to grab a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and a jell-filled splint from the cabinet to help my poor ankle out. I called the girls down and brought them into the living room to commence the planning of the party.

**A few hours Later**

The decorations were hung, the food was almost done, and the guests would be arriving soon.

3

2

1

Bong

Bong

Bong

I called to Jasper and went to the door to open it for the Cullens; who were outside waiting for this slow human to open the door for them. Two of them, Emmett and Alice, ran in and hugged us till I was going blue with lack of air.

"Emmett, air is sort of a necessity for humans and we happen to enjoy having it in our lungs." I gasped out. His rumbling laugh shook the house in it's strength and he let me go; dropping me to the ground seemed to be the typical way of putting me down. I heard laughter behind me, most likely coming from Jasper considering he was the only one, besides Emmett, who had the audacity to laugh like that at my discomfort. I playfully glared in his direction

"Rose! Alice! It's GREAT to see you guys!" I hugged them both' the task a bit difficult due to Alice's insistent bouncing.

"Carlisle, Esme!" I ran over to them and hugged them as tight as humanly possible. They wrapped their freezing arms around me and I felt at home in my second mother and father's arms. They pulled away from me and I frowned.

"We don't want you to freeze, Dear." Esme told me. My frown got bigger.

"I'm too use to your body temperature to get cold." I told all of them,

"Even after all these years?" they asked, shocked.

"Yup," I popped the p.

I felt a familiar presence in the room and I turned back to the doorway to find myself looking at Edward. He stood there, looking uncomfortable with the attention on him.

"Hello, Bella," he said awkwardly.

"Hey yourself," I looked around, "where is she?" I asked him.

"Who?"

"Where's the new vamp girl?"

"The who?"

"Your mate. Where is your mate?" I asked him slowly; it felt like I was talking to a toddler.

"We didn't think that it'd be a good idea for her to be here." He said haltingly.

"Why?"

"Because it's not very nice to bring your girlfriend to your ex-girlfriend's house, especially when the breakup is still so fresh in mind," he said. He was always such a gentleman.

"Call her."

"What?" he asked shocked. Whether he was shocked at my demand or at me demanding something, I had no clue.

"Call your girl; I want to meet the woman that has your heart. She must really be something."

He stood there dumbfound. I sighed.

"Esme," she turned to me. "What is Edward's girlfriend's name?"

"Valerie."

"I walked behind Edward and while he was still confused, I grabbed his cell phone from his back pocket." I ran behind Jasper and started searching for her number. I found it and hit send.

"Hello, Eddie," a purring voice answered. I put that into the back of my mind for future tormenting ideas for Edward.

"Actually, this isn't Edward. I'm Bella, his human ex-girlfriend." I dodged Edward when he tried to grab his phone from me.

"Umm…"

"I called to invite you to join us at my house for the party. Despite what you and Edward think, I actually want you to join us and I'd really like to get to know you."

"…" she hesitated. "I'll be over in five." She said and hung up.

I closed the phone and handed it back to Edward. He actually glared at me. I laughed. His face froze and then it broke into a small smile. We might be able to get along.

"How about we move this to the living room and away from the drafty door," I offered.

After we got all cozy in the living room it only lasted for a few minutes before I got the distinct feeling that someone was on my property. I walked back to the door and peered out the window to see a young woman with hair as black as night walking up my driveway. I was only guessing, but I believed that it was Edward's new girlfriend…what was her name? Veronica…no…Vivian…another no…Valerie was her name. I think.

I opened the door right when her hand was raised to knock and my face almost got banged by her fist when she didn't notice right away.

"Hello," she said hesitantly in a voice like melted chocolate; sweet and silky.

"Hello. Am I right to assume that you're his new girlfriend Valerie?"

"…yes. I didn't know that Edward had told you about me."

"He didn't need to," I shrugged. "Aren't you going to come inside?"

"Oh…yes. I'd like to," she said; apparently deep in thought. She was probably wondering about how I said that he hadn't had to tell me about her for me to know.

"Val?" Edward's voice called from the living room.

"Hey, Eddie," she purred as she walked over to him and leaned down. She stopped right before they kissed and pulled away. I internally laughed at them for thinking that it'd bug me to see my ex kiss his girlfriend.

"I really don't mind if you kiss her, Edward. It would prove to me that she isn't just a cover up for you turning gay." I joked (A/N: I have no issue with gay/lesbian/bi people/relationships (some of my best friends are on one of those teams) "You could make-out with each other for all I care; as long as you don't kiss my guy I don't have any problem with kissing."

"She is way more easy going about us then you told me she would be," Valerie said to him lowly.

"Things have changed," I said to everyone and no one at the same time. He shrugged, looked at me and gave me a small smile, and then proceeded to kiss her.

I looked away to give them a bit of privacy and started the conversation back up with Esme about a project I was working on; I was trying to find someone to help me make some carvings, but I didn't know who to ask about them. Esme volunteered to help me with the carvings as long as I told her what to carve and I went to my art room to grab the carving design sketchbook I had started making. Let's just say that they were all very surprised at my new skill. I prided myself in my new-found; well three years ago it became a new skill, art skills. I could draw so realistically that sometimes people thought that the pictures would jump off the page. Sometimes I had to agree with them.

The drawings that I showed her consisted of Celtic symbols made of different things; things like flowers and vines or car parts or even twisting swirls. They would spread from the bottom of my book shelves to the top and both sides would intertwine at the top. I flipped a few pages and came to the section of my furniture designs of circular chairs with carvings of mythical beasts on the back; dragons on jagged cliffs and fairies sitting on flowers and animals, unicorns and a group of Pegasus's with their wings outstretched and their manes flowing in a soft breeze.

"Bella…when did you get so good at drawing?" they all asked me, shocked.

"I've always loved art, but it wasn't until after you guys left that I got this good." I noticed the winces as I talked about their absence. "I didn't say that to hurt you guys, I'm stating a fact. I'm already over you guys leaving and yes, Edward, I got over you leaving me. I got over it almost a year after you guys left. I still missed you, but I didn't feel broken hearted about it this time and I'm happy that you found your true mate, Edward." I saw them relax slightly. "Now onto happier topics: Present time."

"There's presents?" Emmett asked in a childish voice of wonder.

"Obviously." I rolled my eyes at his surprise. "I just need to go grab them. I'll meet you guys in the basement." I said as I started walking upstairs.

Once I got upstairs, I grabbed the box of gifts from my closet and went back downstairs with my arms loaded with the Cullen's gifts and the girls' gifts.

The Cullens were waiting patiently for me when I got down to them and I called the girls down to meet them. They raced down the stairs at normal human pace and the Cullens started when they saw them; they probably didn't expect me to have met more vampires in their absence.

"Cullen family, I'd like you to meet the Gale sisters. Áine, Caterina, and Alyona meet Carlisle. Esme, Rose, Emmett, Alice, Edward, and Valerie."

"Um…Bella, where did you meet these vampires?" Alice asked.

"What?" I asked in shock. "The all knowing Alice didn't know this?" I asked jokingly. "I meet them four years ago in Ireland." I told them.  
"When did you go to Ireland?"

"Four years ago as part of my work."

"And you work is…?"

"A federal agent and a bartender." They showed shock at both of my job choices. Huh. Was it really so surprising that I would have one, or both, of those jobs?

"A federal agent and a bartender? When did you become interested in those two?" Edward asked shocked.

"I got interested in being a bartender when I turned twenty-one and started drinking and I became interested in being a fed when some of my friends were killed in a suicide bombing in Maine."

"How do joining the feds and a bombing connect?"

"They connect because I'm the one that takes out the bombers." I looked at Jasper where he sat on the loveseat. "I forgot to mention this earlier when I was explaining my job; I don't just track them, I'm one of the people that gets rid of them. Permanently." I kept my eyes connected to theirs; I wouldn't let them know how much I feared their opinion.

"Oh, Bella…you feel very strongly about this don't you." Esme stated.

"Yes," I kept my gaze hard.

"I speak for myself, but I'm sure the others agree that we wish you didn't pick such a dangerous job, but we'll support your decision." I felt my tense shoulders relax as I heard the others agreement, albeit grudging agreement.

"Present time?" the girls and Emmett asked.

"Yup." I looked at Esme and Carlisle. "I'd like to give out mine first if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course dear," they both answered.

I opened the box of gifts that I'd brought down and passed each one out to their rightful owners. I watched as each of them opened their gift and held my breath in anticipation.

"Sweet!"

"Awesome!"

"That is sooo cool!"

"Thanks, Bella!"

"Thank you!"

Their pleasure at their gifts filled m with pride; they love the drawings. Carlisle received a drawing of London, Esme got one of all the Cullens, Emmett got a picture of him winning a video game against Edward and Jasper, Rose got one of her curled up in Emmett's lap with both their eyes closed, Alice received a picture of her dressed as a fortune teller with a crystal ball in front of her and her hands floating above it, Edward and Valerie got a combined gift of a picture of the two of them laying in the grass and flowers with their skin glittering with the sunlight; both their eyes were closed and their hands were intertwined, I drew in a faint line between their chests that sparkled; representing them being soul mates. Edward and Valerie looked like they wanted to cry, instead they both came over to me with the others and engulfed me in a massive group-hug.

"What, no gift for me?" asked Jasper, breaking up the moment. He had zero tact sometimes…

"You get your gift last just because you commented on it." I told him.

"Seriously?" he groaned.

"Yes, now shut-up before I decide to not give you one at all." I threatened, only half joking. There was an audible snap as his mouth clamped shut. He must really want that that gift, I thought to myself.

"Gifts for the girls from Luke and me," I said holding up the box of boxes that I had gotten in the mail.

Áine received a key to a new car (her old one had just died), a stereo that had access to every radio channel (nothing government related though), a cell phone, the last three books from Vampire Academy, and a wood carving of a wolf sitting on a cliff howling.

Caterina got a new car, three movies (The Notebook, Holiday in Handcuffs, and Titanic), a subscription to get Harlequin romances every month, an iPod nano, and a carving of Aphrodite sitting on a pearl in her shell (a real shell and pearl found by moi).

Alyona was gifted a bow and arrow set, a box of four different knives, a box filled with action adventure movies, year round passes to parks with the most adrenalin pumping 'coasters all over the country, and tickets to Nickleback, Shinedown, and Cartel concerts.

I got a box of paints, a box of pencils and charcoal, seven new sketchbooks, a new iPod, and wicked knives.

"I'm calling Luke so we can all thank him for the awesome gifts that he and I chose for you guys." I dialed and got voicemail. We left a message that was all screams about how much we all loved the gifts.

More gifts were exchanged and the Cullens decided to leave shortly after. The girls went to their rooms and started to use their new gifts. Jasper and I were the only ones remaining on the main floor.

"I never got my gift," he pouted playfully. I laughed at his expression.

"Of course you didn't, I couldn't exactly wrap it." That spiked his interest.

"Why couldn't you wrap it?"

"Because it's not a gift that I can give you physically," I told him.

"What is it," he persisted.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands."

"Fine," he said as he closed his eyes. I waved my hands in front of his face to make sure that he wasn't going to be able to peak.

"Don't open your eyes before I tell you to." He nodded.

I lead him to my sanctuary; the place that kept me calm and was the scene of Jasper and my almost first kiss. His ears twitched as we neared the running water of the waterfall. I think he had an idea of where we were. I pulled him to the sandy ground and sat in front of him.

"You can open your eyes," I whispered to him. They flickered open and took in our surroundings. He raised an eyebrow.

"Do you remember what almost happened here?"

"…yes."

"Tell me what almost happened."

"I almost kissed you?" It came out sounding like a question and I almost laughed at his uncertainty.

"What happened that stopped us."

"Your phone rang…" I looked around us.

"Do you want your gift?"

"Yes."

"Look up." His face showed his obvious confusion, but he did as he was told and looked up.

I know what he saw. He saw a dangling plant that was very out of place here. It was a little green plant with glistening white berries that was held onto a nearby branch with a red ribbon. It hung there, barely swinging in the light breeze, and at that moment I loved that little plant. I actually loved mistletoe for that one moment.

Right when his face came back to face mine, my lips were attached to his. It wasn't like the last kiss we had shared, that one had been all fire and passion; this one was soothing and gentle with…love. I loved him and I admit I was scared, but I was willing to take the chance with him. Our mouths stayed together for what felt like seconds, but according to my lungs it had been much longer.

After we detached ourselves, our foreheads rested against each other and our arms were wrapped around each other in a loose, loving embrace. To me it felt like I was holding a husband in my arms, but I knew for fact that that was not the case. I closed my eyes, but they slowly opened again when I felt myself being lifted onto his lap. I snuggled into his chest and let my eyes close again.

"Merry Christmas, Jasper."

"Merry Christmas, Darlin'," he whispered as I relaxed further into his chest.

Then Jasper whispered something that nearly stopped my heart from beating…

"I love you," he whispered, almost too low for my human ears.

"Love you too, Cowboy. Don't you dare let me regret it," I whispered back as I pressed my lips to his one last time for the night…

* Sibéal- Irish translation of Isabella

So what do you guys think about sweet little Bella's career choice, her new friends, and Jake's imprint choice?

Just saying, this kind of chapter is not going to be the normal length (unless you want to wait a couple of months for it (I don't really have the time to do this a lot)


	12. I'm Not the Only One in Your Heart

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the original characters (no copyright infringement intended)

Hope you guys enjoyed the extra long chapter, but (sadly) they won't be that long typically (primarily only as gifts), if they are going to be that long on a regular basis they're going to take more than the usual month to be released; I just don't have the time to do that much in one month.

**Everyone**- Thank you for reading the story so far! (Comments are _**ALWAYS**_ welcomed)

Sorry this chapter didn't get out as fast as usual (the site was giving me issues {a thousand curses to the site for not letting me post this chapter}) -ShadowGrafAngel

**Previously**

_"Look up." His face showed his obvious confusion, but he did as he was told and looked up._

_I know what he saw. He saw a dangling plant that was very out of place here. It was a little green plant with glistening white berries that was held onto a nearby branch with a red ribbon. It hung there, barely swinging in the light breeze, and at that moment I loved that little plant. I actually loved mistletoe for that one moment._

_Right when his face came back to face mine, my lips were attached to his. It wasn't like the last kiss we had shared, that one had been all fire and passion; this one was soothing and gentle with…love. I loved him and I admit I was scared, but I was willing to take the chance with him. Our mouths stayed together for what felt like seconds, but according to my lungs it had been much longer._

_After we detached ourselves, our foreheads rested against each other and our arms were wrapped around each other in a loose, loving embrace. To me it felt like I was holding a husband in my arms, but I knew for fact that that was not the case. I closed my eyes, but they slowly opened again when I felt myself being lifted onto his lap. I snuggled into his chest and let my eyes close again._

_"Merry Christmas, Jasper."_

_"Merry Christmas, Darlin'," he whispered as I relaxed further into his chest._

_Then Jasper whispered something that nearly stopped my heart from beating…_

_"I love you," he whispered, almost too low for my human ears._

_"Love you too, Cowboy. Don't you dare let me regret it," I whispered back as I pressed my lips to his one last time for the night…_

**Currently:**

Everyone had returned to their homes, or to their rooms in the case of Jasper and I. We were curled up in my bed; my back against his chest, his arms around my waist, and his head resting on mine as we listened to Skillet sing about how he was going to be his girl's reason to live. A random thought popped into my head and I was hesitant to get the answer to it.

"Jasper?"

"What?" he asked, glancing down at me.

"Why…," I hesitated, "Never mind, just go back to listening to the music," I said lamely. He was quiet for about two seconds.

"What were you going to ask," I didn't answer. He groaned. "Just ask me, Beautiful, it can't be that bad," he said coaxed.

"Why aren't you with Alice," I speed through the question; I wasn't sure I was going to want to hear the answer to that question. He was quiet for so long I didn't think he was going to answer. After a long two minutes, he answered.

"She and I were never meant to be forever, we both knew it; we just didn't want to be alone," he saw the look of shock on my face, seriously, I thought they had been in love with each other, "Don't get me wrong, we loved each other…we just weren't meant to last forever; we both knew that and that we were both going to find our real mates, but not then."

"How long were you two together?"

"Since…well, I honestly don't know," his face scrunched up in his confusion; I understood that, vampires were supposed to have impeccable memories; they didn't just 'forget' about anything. I guess there was a first for everything. I decided to take pity on him and go to a different topic.

"Why-,"

"I met her not too long after I quit the New Born Army," he started again; "She was like an angel, a mischievous angel, but an angel all the same." He paused. "You were starting to say something weren't you, sorry 'bout that," he gave me a small, sheepish grin that turned my legs to jello.

"Please don't take this wrong but, why did you fall for Alice? What about her made you want her," I was curious, they differed so much that, yes, I thought they were cute together, but I honestly never saw anything they had in common. I watched his face for signs that I may have offended him; I didn't see any.

"Many things drew me to her, I guess. The first things I noticed were probably purely physical, like her size; she was, is, so small that it's funny to think that she can cause as much trouble as she does. I don't know why it is but, guys just seem to always be attracted to the smaller ladies; we have a need to feel strong like how women need to feel attractive just so we feel we're bringing something besides our amazing looks to the relationship; little ladies just scream 'protect me' to guys," he though aloud absent mindedly. He turned to me.

"What brought tha-," he started; a loud crash shook the house on its foundation and rumbled through the floorboards.

"What the hell was that," I shouted, causing Jasper to flinch. Oops. Note to self: refrain from yelling in boyfriend's hyper sensitive ears and apologize for the yelling…

"I don't know…," his eyes darted toward the door and his nostrils flared. "That scent…"

"What about the scent? Jasper, what is the scent?" I felt myself start to panic at the thought of any of the many people wanting me dead coming after me with Jasper around; human, vampire, werewolf, hell, even a few demons wanted me dead at the rate I was going.

"Its familiar, but…"

"Enough of the unfinished sentences! Answers are helpful," I growled when he didn't say anything.

"Damn it, Jasper! What the hell is it?"

"If it's what I think it is, then…"

"Then…?"

"It's a 'who', not a 'what'…"

"Who is 'it' then?"

"I'm pretty sure it's-"

"It's…?"

"I'd tell you if you'd stop interrupting me for more than ten seconds," he said; directing a pointed looking at me.

"Oops…hehe…sorry," I felt a slight blush spread over my face.

"Oh, Jasper! Where are you? I have the right address right? The cute blonde guy…Carlisle! Ya, him, he didn't give me the wrong address did he? Jasper? **Jasper**? **JASPER**! It really is you! God, I missed you, where were you? I thought that friends were supposed to tell each other when they were moving, but especially when it's your girlfriend, you always tell your girlfriend," I felt my blood run cold and my face pale at the word being used in reference between Jasper and a woman besides myself, "when you're moving, no 'ifs', 'ands' or 'buts', right," the voice babbled; it was getting closer.

"Shit," Jasper whispered as the voice got closer.

"Jasper," I started; deadly calm, "is there something you'd like to tell me," I asked; half wanting to cry and half wanting to destroy him for possibly leading me on. If he was going to start acting like how Edward was with me; not telling me anything, I may very well hunt down another vamp and tell them to turn me just so I could strangle him for being such a jackass to me. For his own well-being, he better not be cheating on me or 'forgetting' to mention the other women…

The door slammed open with a deafening crack as the wood splintered.


	13. Not a Chapter PLEASE READ

**PLEASE READ**

Guys, I'm really sorry to do this to you (especially after I promised to get these out faster), but the next chapter is going to be a little late.

A family member of mine is dying right now (the doctors aren't even sure if she's going to see tomorrow) and we're all preparing for a funeral.

I'll update this fanfic as soon as possible, but please do not expect it to be posted this month (if it is it'll be posted at the very end)

Thank you for reading,

ShadowGrafAngel

July 11, 2011,

Hey faithful readers, i know i said i was going to be updating after everything got straightened out with the funeral and i was able to start writing again. here's the thing- my ideas on this story have hit a dry spot so i'm going to be stepping away from this for awhile and letting the creativity be redirected. **I AM NOT DISCONTINUING THIS STORY JUST TAKING A BREAK.**


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